Page 45 of More For Me

Oh. Right. That last text should have definitely been the finale.

I’m just not sure why that makes me so sad.

“We can still watch the fireworks though,” he says, studying me closely. I feel self-conscious suddenly, wondering what he can see in my face. But I force a smile and slip my arm through his, the same way I have a thousand times before, and smile. “Let’s do it.”

“Do you think that guy’s name is really Snake?” Bodhi asks as we make our way over to the waiting crowd.

“I don’t know. It kind of fit him.”

“Yeah but like, is it a nickname? Do you think his birth certificate actually says Snake? Do you think his mother looked at her darling newborn baby boy and said, I know, I’ll call himSnake.”

I giggle. “We should have asked to see his driver’s license.” Something occurs to me, and I pull us to a stop. “What did you say to him?”

“What do you mean?”

“He said you told him the magic words.”

Suddenly, Bodhi won’t meet my eyes. His gaze darts all over the place, to the crowd, to the castle, anywhere but me. “I just told him that it would, you know…” He trails off.

“Bodhi?”

He sighs and finally meets my eye. “I told him it would make my girl laugh. That it would make you happy.”

His girl.“Oh.”

His eyes seem to darken as he looks down at me, and I’m once again aware of how close we’re standing. How warm he feels. How good he smells. It’s like the night he helped me with my necklace all over again, except this time I can see his face.

I want to kiss him, I think, startling myself with the intensity of the desire. I want to kiss my best friend, right here in the middle of this crowd at Disneyland. I want to know what his lips feel like, what he tastes like. How have I never wondered that before? I know just about everything there is to know about Bodhi Lakra—what makes him laugh, what makes him sad, what he wants for his life, for his career. I can read three pages of a book and know if he’s going to like it. I can walk into a restaurant and immediately guess whether it’s his kind of place.

I know what it feels like when he’s kind to me, when he makes me laugh, when he treats me like the most important person in the world. I know how it feels to snuggle against his side, to hold his hand, to feel his arm around me.

But I don’t know what it would be like to kiss him. And all of a sudden that seems absolutely unacceptable.

“Bodhi,” I begin, my voice breathless, a little shaky. His eyes darken more, his gaze darting down to my lips, and I start to move to my tiptoes and—

“Oooh!” the crowd around us exclaims as the first of the fireworks explodes over the castle. I jerk away from him, heart pounding hard, completely in shock over what just nearly happened.

I almost kissed Bodhi. I almost…holy shit.

I shake my head, taking another step back, scared to death all of a sudden. I can feel his gaze on my face but I turn away, directing my attention to the show. A long moment passes before I see him do the same out of the corner of my eye.

I manage to plaster a neutral expression on my face, to pretend like I’m enjoying the fireworks, to pretend like everything is totally normal.

But I don’t feel normal. I feel really, really scared. And I have no idea what to do about it.