Page 88 of The One You Want

Across the living room, Lady peeked her head out of their bedroom, watching me with wide, yellowed eyes. Did she somehow know I was planning on how to get rid ofher?

“It’s been no problem,” I said to Dr. Miller, turning my body slightly so I wouldn’t have to look at the orange cat’s face. “I’ll take them over to Jerry’s and see how itgoes.”

He said something else but I wasn’t listening anymore. It was just too hard to focus on pretty much anything right now, including the man I had once crushedover.

After I hung up, I stared around the silent room, at the too-white walls and the clean, uncomfortable furniture. The only clutter in the entire apartment was the few cat toys that had migrated out of theirbedroom.

All of a sudden, the thought of sitting in this condo for a second longer seemed impossible. I needed to get outside, needed to do something. I needed to handle the damn cats so my life could get back tonormal.

I was never supposed to take care of three animals. I had only taken them because I was trying to impress a guy who never saw me as more than the sweet little choir mouse who volunteered at his shelter. Hell, I had only volunteered at the shelter in the first place to try and get close to him. I had never liked that job. Had never cared much about theanimals.

“I’m not an animal person,” I told Lady, who was still staring at me. “And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong withthat.”

I had no idea why I was trying to defend myself to her. She was a cat. For all my talk about their scheming and controlling ways, the fact was, they were animals. Pets. They didn’t have any control over me or my life. It was time I rememberedthat.

I gathered up as many of their toys that could fit in a basket and then added a bag of their food and their dishes. Jerry probably had those kinds of supplies, but I figured the transition might be easier for them if they recognized their ownthings.

The transition will be easy because they’ll be happier there,I reminded myself. A warm barn to sleep in. Unlimited mice to chase. Wide open fields toexplore.

But that didn’t stop me from shoving a few extra packets of the fishy treats they liked into the bag, just incase.

Getting them into their carriers was going to be a more difficult task. They hated being caged. In the end, I resorted to baiting them with those same treats to get them inside, then slammed the doors shut when they were distracted. Then I felt sick to my stomach for being sosneaky.

They’re cats,I reminded myself, over and over, as I arranged the carriers in my wagon for the trip up to the farm.They don’t even like you.But their pitiful cries pierced all my arguments, making me feel sick and almost dizzy withshame.

It didn’t stop the entire walk to Jerry’s. The cats continued to cry, each pathetic mewl cutting me like a physical wound.You don’t understand,I thought, wishing I could make them see how much better this would be. They would be much happier on the farm than they would be in my cold, quiet, sterile condo. There would be other animals, a man who actually cared aboutthem.

Youcare about them,a voice in my headwhispered.

But what did that matter? I couldn’t give them what they needed. I was a freakingmess. I had been pretending like I could have a different kind of life for too long and it was time I grewup.

I just wasn’t destined to be the kind of person who had meaningful relationships. I hadn’t had that with my parents, or grandparents. I hadn’t had it with any of my “friends” from college or any of my neighbors here on the island. I certainly hadn’t had it with any man. Why did I think I could have it with three orneryanimals?

I steeled myself as I knocked on Jerry’s front door. I hadn’t called ahead. Maybe he wouldn’t behome—

The door swung open and my stomach dropped. “Jenny!” The lines of his weatherworn face crinkled as he grinned at me. “This is a nice surprise. You come to get some more eggs? No, let me guess—you wanted to get your cuddles in with thechicks.”

I found I couldn’t speak. Instead I shifted on the porch so he could see the wagon behind me. The cats had gone completelysilent.

“Oh, my,” he said, eyes lighting up. “I was right about this being a nicesurprise.”

He pulled on a pair of Wellington boots and joined me at the foot of the porch stairs. “Who do we havehere?”

I swallowed hard. “The tabby is Mittens,” I managed to get out. “Dr. Miller guessed he was about four. The black cat is the baby—Ernie. He’s only two.” I placed a hand on the final carrier. “The orange cat is the oldest. She’s the one Dr. Miller said lived on the Freemanfarm.”

“And what’s hername?”

“La—Lady.” For some reason my voice cracked on her name, and Jerry looked up at me, eyes narrowing inconcern.

“Jenny?”

I coughed into my hand and tried to smile. “It was a dustywalk.”

I could tell he didn’t believe me but he eventually turned his attention back to the silent, staring cats. Lady’s yellow-green eyes seemed to be locked on mine and for the first time, she didn’t look calculating or scheming. She just lookedsad.

Like, really, reallysad.

“I can’t do this,” I suddenly blurted, and the second the words were out of my mouth relief crashed over me. What was I thinking? Of course I couldn’t give the cats away. They weremine.