Page 43 of The One You Want

It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes. “I’m just saying, there are lots of things about my life I’d like to change. And that’s what I tried to do all summer.” I looked up into her caring eyes and all of a sudden, I found myself wanting to vent all of this to another person. Before I knew it, the words were spilling out of my mouth, all about the terrible dates and the clothes and the hairstyle. The mortifying experience at the dance class. All of my most embarrassing failures from the last threemonths.

“Then I tripped at the talent show and bled all over Mayor Jones’ shoes,” I muttered, burying my forehead in my hands. “You know how that man feels about his shoes! And the whole town sawit.”

To her credit, Margaret didn’t laugh at me, even though I saw the corner of her mouth twitch. She waited until I was done spilling every mortifying detail before she spoke. “I think you sound really brave,Jenny.”

“Brave?” I snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, that’sme.”

“It is brave! Trying to change isn’teasy.”

“Yeah, well, in my case, it isn’t effective either.” I ran a hand over my temple, wishing I had left my condo that afternoon. “Anyhow, that’s why I’m not really feeling the whole self-help thing.” I shrugged. “It just doesn’t work forme.”

“Now that is where you’re wrong,” she said, pointing a stern finger in my direction. “Just because it didn’t work before doesn’t mean it won’t worknow.”

“Margaret—”

“No, listen,” she insisted. “Last time you tried to change way too many things all at once. Going on some dates would have been a big enough thing! It’s no wonder you got overwhelmed.” She tilted her head, waiting until I met her eyes. “But the biggest thing, Jenny, is that you tried to do all that by yourself. Can’t you see how much easier it will be if you have all of your friends to helpyou?”

To have all of my friends see what a disaster I am sounded more likeit.

She must have sensed that I wasn’t sold yet, because she pressed on. “The entire point of this book—finding your pride—is about working together with women who care aboutyou.”

I thought about the women of the Libbies club. Some of them I would call my friends, but I highly doubted any of them ever gave me more than a passingthought.

“Look,” Margaret said, “how about instead of putting all this pressure on yourself, like you did this summer, why don’t you just try to think of one single change—big or small—that would make a difference in your life.” She grinned at me, looking a lot less manic and a lot more like the friendly, somewhat shy girl I knew before the lastmeeting.

“If you honestly can’t think of one single thing that would make a difference all on its own, I’ll back off and make sure no one else ever bothers you about the bookagain.”

Well, never hearing another word about lionesses and stingrays and whatever else sounded pretty good to me. At the same time, there was something swimming at the edges of my mind. One single change that would make a difference in my life. There were probably a hundred to chose from—having more confidence, developing more relationships, getting out into the world more often, learning how to stand up to my grandmother. But maybe there was something I could try that would accomplish all of those things at the sametime.

“A job,” I blurted out. “Finding a good job I’m passionate about would make a huge difference in mylife.”

She beamed at me. “See? Once you try to narrow things down, it stops feeling sooverwhelming!”

But I was barely listening to her. My brain had seized on this idea like a lifeline. There was probably nothing I could do to make my grandmother happy, short of marrying Bradford in some socialite dream wedding. But my grandfather was anotherstory.

He hadn’t been thrilled when my dad took the job in New York, preferring him to stay on the island to run the hotel with him. But in the end, he’d come around. My grandfather admired hard work and dedication. And while he’d never shown much interest in me having a career, I couldn’t help but think he’d respect me a little bit more if I could show him that I wasn’t just some flighty, spoiledkid.

Whether that respect would be enough to keep my trust fund and condo, I didn’t know. But would it really matter? If I had a good job, I could take care of myself. I wouldn’t have to rely on them, wouldn’t have to owe them so much. I could be an independent, grown-ass woman, just like Riley and Cora and Libby and all of those women on the island that I respected somuch.

“I see that light in your eye,” Margaret said happily. “You wantthis.”

“I do,” I murmured, realizing how much I really meant it as the words left my lips. I was so tired of feeling trapped, of being controlled by my grandparents. If there was a chance the Libbies and this stupid book could help me to do that, I had to at leasttry.

“This is so awesome,” Margaret squealed, actually clapping her hands. “Just you wait, Jenny. We’re going to help you make your dreams cometrue!”

I gave her a small smile, feeling slightly optimistic for the first time in a longtime.

And then my stomach dropped out as Bradford walked into thecafe.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered, staring at him as his eyes scanned the space. Had my grandmother gone straight back to the hotel and told him where to findme?

When his eyes landed on me, and the familiar smarmy smile overtook his face, I knew that she had done exactlythat.

She’s not going to drop this,I realized as he strode over to my table. She couldn’t care less if I was looking for a job or not—in her mind, the answer to getting my life together lay squarely at the feet of the man beforeme.

“Jennifer,” he said, smile just a tad too big to be believable. “It’s so nice to run into youhere.”

I’m sure it is,I thoughtsourly.