Page 90 of Lance

“They’ve gotten really close,” Iagree.

“I would think you’d put some weight behind her opinion, then,” Layla says. “Seeing how she knows both of you and the way you interact with eachother.”

“Plus,” Dylan adds, “she’s kind of a genius,right?”

I laugh a little. “There’s nokind ofaboutit.”

“Then why don’t you listen to her? I make it a point to listen to people who are smarter thanme.”

I roll my empty glass between my hands, wishing I had another. “What if…” I mutter, not really wanting to voice the fear that’s been gnawing at my chest. “What if she just thinks I can do this because she…you know. Has feelings for me? What if she’s just caught up in some idea of who she thinks I am and she doesn’t reallysee…”

“Seewhat?”

“The truth. Aboutme.”

Layla raises an eyebrow. “And what truth isthat?”

I blow out a breath, staring at the table so I don’t have to look at them. “That I’m a totaldisaster.”

“You’re not a disaster,” Dylan says, soundingconfused.

I release a bark of bitter laughter. “Give me abreak.”

“I’m serious,” Dylan says in that same bewildered voice. “You’re not! Look at everything you’vedone.”

“Yeah, Dyl,” I snap. “Look at everything I’ve done. Went to juvie, dropped out of school, got a girl pregnant and didn’t even know about thekid—”

“You’ve made some mistakes,” he agrees. “But you’ve also done goodthings.”

“Comeon—”

“You have! Look atIntrigue.”

“I don’t think being in a rock band really counts as some greataccomplishment.”

“I do,” Layla says bluntly. “Because it’s not just about fooling around with some instruments, is it? It’s about being committed to something, Lance. We worked really, really hard to gethere.”

“You all worked harder than me,” I mutter. It’s something I’ve never really admitted to them before, but it’s true. The four of them were together for years before I showed up. They didn’t add me to the band until just before they got signed, when the label thought I could bring something a little different to theirsound.

“And do you think we’d be here if it wasn’t for you?” Dylan asks. “Dude, everything changed after youjoined.”

“And,” Layla says, her voice much more serious than I’m used to hearing, “we all know we can count on you, Lance. I’ve never once doubted that you’d give your all to thisband.”

I swallow, feelinguncomfortable.

“Hey,” Dylan suddenly says, amusement in his voice. “You remember that shitty gig in Oklahoma City? When they switched venues onus?”

“Oh, God,” Layla muttered. “Haylee had just had a panic attack and we weren’t sure if she’d be able to go onstage…”

“And then the van broke down,” Dylanadds.

I smile at the memory. “I was so sure we were about to get dropped from thelabel.”

“But you fixed the van,” Dylan says, looking me straight in the eye. “Right there on the side of the road. None of us had any idea what todo.”

I shift in my seat, even more uncomfortablenow.

“We really had some messes along the way, didn’t we?” Layla smiles at me. “All of the crap Haylee went through. All those terriblegigs.”