Page 88 of Good For Me

“Dad, listen to yourself. The best things anyone can say about me is that I’m good at surfing and skateboarding? That’s kid stuff.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Buddy, you’re talking to someone who made a career out of messing around on instruments with my brothers. You think there weren’t plenty of people who said the same thing about our music when we were younger?”

“Yeah, but youdidsomething with your music. It wasn’t just a hobby. Like you said, you made a career out of it.”

“And if I didn’t? The music industry is basically a huge crap shoot. Plenty of people who are every bit as talented and driven as we are never make it. That could have easily been us. Would our music not have value if we hadn’t been able to monetize it?”

“Of course not.”

“You can love things without making a living on them,” he goes on. “Not everything has to be about money. You can do the things you love just for the sheer enjoyment of doing them.” He leans forward again. “The point, Riv, is that you’re dedicated and hardworking—”

I can’t help but scoff and my dad raises an eyebrow.

“When’s the last time you accessed your trust fund?”

“Uh…” I screw up my face, thinking about that. “I guess when I got my Jeep?”

“Which you bought used.”

“They don’t make that model anymore. There’s three extra inches of roof space, it’s perfect for my board.”

He smirks. “The point, kid, is that you still work and make good financial choices even though you have access to all this money. The fact that you work at all says a lot about you. A kid with your privileges, you know how easy it would be to be spoiled? To be lazy? LA is filled with the kids of rich people who don’t do shit. But that’s not you, River. And it never has been.”

I swallow, something easing a little in my chest. Maybe I’ve had some things wrong over the last few years. I’m not entirely sure I agree with the stuff my dad is saying about me, but the fact thathebelieves it means more than I can tell him.

As if reading my mind, Dad leans a little closer, lowering his voice. “You’re gonna be okay, Riv. I know this is scary. I know you feel totally out of your element. But you’ll get through it. Everyone has to figure it out as they go.” He laughs. “You should have seen your Uncle Cash when Sam got pregnant with Will. I swear to God, he walked around looking like he was going to puke for seven straight months.”

“What about you?” I ask. My dad had been even younger when Rose was born.

He shrugs, a soft look coming to his eyes. “I had your mother. Hard to be too freaked out with Daisy on my team, you know?”

My parents met when they were five-years-old and they’ve been best friends ever since. They have the kind of relationship people envy.

The kind of relationship I wish I could have with Jas, I think to myself, a shot of pain hitting my gut.

“You gonna tell her?” I ask, feeling sick at the thought. I figured Dad would be pissed but the idea of seeing disappointment in my mother’s eyes is a lot harder to take.

“Not if you don’t want me to.” But I can tell he’s uncomfortable with the idea. My parents don’t keep secrets from each other.

Which means I’m going to have to tell her soon.

I rub a hand over my face. We just wanted one last weekend to relax before we had to start making the hard choices. I wanted to give Jas that. Wanted to give her the chance to get to know me here, with my family, where I’m at my most comfortable. Where I’m the most real.

But that’s feeling more and more like a pipe dream.

“I’ll tell her when we’re back in town,” I promise. Futile or not, I need a few more days before reality comes crashing in.