Page 68 of Good For Me

Luckily, I find a powder room right off the mud room and close myself inside, taking several deep breaths as I lean against the door. Now that I don’t have three sets of eyes staring at me, the urge to vomit decreases slightly. I splash water on my face instead, trying to prepare myself to go back out there.

It really shouldn’t surprise me to find River waiting for me when I open the door. His expression is concerned and it should probably be touching, but all I feel is another flash of annoyance. “If you want to keep this a secret, you better stop freaking the fuck out every time I so much as grimace,” I tell him.

He blinks at me. “I’m not freaking out.”

I gesture in the direction of the porch. “You could have waited to talk about the zip lining thing until we were alone. You didn’t need to jump up like that just because I said I needed to go inside.”

“I could tell you were going to be sick—”

“Which you don’t need to draw more attention to!” I shoot back. “I’ve spent the last three months being sick. I can handle it.”

I expect another apology, but instead, anger flashes in his eyes and he takes a step closer. “In other words, you’ve been dealing with this alone from the start so why don’t I just back off and leave you to it, right?”

His anger surprises the annoyance right out of me. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, but you meant it. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t want or need my help with any of this.”

“River, that’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is you blaming me for not being around in the beginning,” he says, eyes flashing.

“You left!” I cry, probably way too loud, but I’m too worked up to care. “You took off without saying a word to me. Two days after we slept together!”

“Because you told me it was just a hook-up!” he shoots back. “Excuse me if I didn’t want to stick around and watch the girl I was freaking crazy about act like the best damn night I’ve ever had meant nothing.”

I freeze. “You…what?”

He blinks rapidly, his breath coming in short pants as he shakes his head. “Nothing. Forget it.”

“River, what did you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He runs his hands through his hair, not meeting my eyes. “I shouldn’t have gone there. This weekend is supposed to be about you relaxing, not me dragging up a bunch of shit. Forget I said anything.”

“River.” His body has gone tense and I hate the sight of it. Hate the absence of the usual easy-going, unruffled River I’ve gotten used to. I want to press him to explain himself, to tell me if he really meant what he just said—the best night he’s ever had?

Before I can try again to get him to talk to me, there’s a commotion from outside—several car doors slamming, shouts and laughs and yells. He closes his eyes, something pained crossing his features.

“Maybe you were right,” he mutters. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”

I swallow, feeling close to tears for some reason. Stupid hormones. But somehow, I feel like it might be more than that this time.

“It doesn’t matter now,” I point out. “We’re here, right?”

He finally opens his eyes, the blue of his irises icy, the opposite of the warmth he usually shows me. “We don’t have to be. I wanted to bring you here so you’d have a good time. The last thing I want is for you to feel miserable. If you want me to take you to a hotel or back to the airport—”

“No,” I blurt out, feeling sick all over again. River has been nothing but generous in bringing me this weekend. It’s obvious this place is special to his family, an escape from what I’m sure is a crazy life in the public eye. And River chose to share it with me. To let me into this private part of his life, the part I know he never lets any of his hook-ups see.

I’m not throwing that back in his face. I might be scared out of my mind. I might be confused and hormonal and liable to be a total bitch right now. But I’m not going to hurt River Ransome. I’mnot.

So I reach across the space between us and take his hand. His fingers remain stiff for a moment, like he doesn’t want to give into my touch, but eventually they soften, squeezing me back.

“I want to stay, River. Let’s go out and you can introduce me to your family.”