Page 60 of Good For Me

River

The comforting familiarity of Ruby’s is exactly what I need right now. I wasn’t expecting this day to be easy, not by any means, but I also wasn’t expecting it to be quite so much of a rollercoaster. It’s barely even two in the afternoon and I’m fucking exhausted, emotionally and mentally.

Trying to keep cool and calm when Jas was totally freaking out was bad enough—though her face when the happy nurse talked to her was kind of worth it. But then she just had to say that thing about me staying in the room while she changed. Granted, she told me to turn around, but the very thought of being within two feet of a naked Jasmine made my blood feel like liquid fire. I was one hundred percent sure I couldn’t have stayed in that room and not touched her.

It hadn’t been much better when I came back in. I wouldn’t have thought there could be anything sexy about a shapeless exam gown but that was before I saw Jas in one.

And all of that was before we saw the baby on the screen. Which was just…holy hell. It’s going to take me a long time to process what I feel about that.

So for now I concentrate on getting Jasmine fed. Her asking to come to Ruby’s had been an emotional gut punch, too. This weird little bar has always been my special place. Sharing it with her that night this summer had meant something. I’d known it even then. When she asked me to come back, I felt strangely triumphant. And touched. And a whole bunch of other emotions I’m not nearly mature enough to parse my way through.

I could really use a couple hours on my surfboard tonight to try and get my head back on straight.

Ruby’s is quiet when we arrive, the after-lunch crowd sparse. Jas had been complaining about the humidity when I picked her up earlier, so I opt to eat inside.

“Hello, handsome,” Diana calls from behind the bar when we enter. “Sit anywhere.”

I blow her a kiss, which makes the sixty-year-old woman giggle, and lead Jas over to one of the window booths. “Are any women safe from the River Ransome charm offensive?” she asks.

I shrug. “It made her smile, didn’t it?”

Jas studies me long enough to make me squirm in my seat. But then she changes the subject. “You’re going to need to give me your sister’s number,” she says. “I have to thank her for recommending Doctor Wiezman.”

“You liked her?”

Jas nods. “So much. No-nonsense, no fluffy shit, just the facts without any fuss. She was exactly what I needed.”

I laugh. “That’s pretty much exactly what I described to Rose when I told her what we were looking for.”

Her eyebrows go up. “You did? I figured she just gave you the name of her doctor?”

“Nah. Rose actually sees a certified midwife for her, you know, lady stuff.”

Jas barks out a laugh. “Lady stuff?”

I shrug, feeling my face heat. “What else am I supposed to call it?”

“You can say gynecological care, River. It’s not a scary word.”

I throw my hands up. “Before this week, I don’t think I even knew what that word meant!”

Jas is really laughing now. “The next few months are going to be a rude awakening for you.”

I groan. “You’re telling me. I’m going to have nightmares about the tools she had on her tray when she did your exam.” Jas had insisted I stay right by her head—fine with me—so I hadn’t actually seen if the doctor had used the metal contraptions, but they basically looked like torture devices.

Jas gets a downright evil gleam in her eye. “You mean the speculum? They use that to pry open your—”

“River, honey, why do you look so pale?” Diana asks, appearing at our table with two water glasses like a freaking superhero to save me from whatever horrifying thing was about to come out of Jasmine’s mouth. Across the table, she’s struggling not to laugh.

“Just learning aboutgynecologypractices, Di,” I say, huge emphasis on the word, while I keep my narrowed eyes on Jas. I’ll show her I’m not so easily squeamish. Her eyebrows go up in what looks like challenge, and I curse myself. This is going to come back to haunt me, I’m sure of it.

Diana tuts at my side. “Pap smears don’t sound like lunch conversation to me, but whatever floats your boat, honey.”

I raise an eyebrow at Jas. “I don’t want to know what that is, do I?” She grins and shakes her head.

Diana pulls out her order pad and turns to Jas. “What can I get you to drink, sweetheart?

Jas looks glumly at her water. “Just this, thanks.”