Page 51 of Good For Me

“She’s pregnant,” I blurt out, unable to stop myself. “Jasmine is pregnant.”

Rose’s mouth drops open and she blinks at me for a long time, the words hanging between us, heavy and immovable. “And it’s…yours?” she finally whispers.

I nod, turning back to the ocean. Rose remains quiet at my side, like she’s in shock or something.

And then I feel her arms wrap around my middle, squeezing me so tight it’s hard to breathe. I have to fight to keep tears from falling on her blond head as she tucks herself against my shoulder, still holding tight.

“Everything is going to be okay,” she says, her voice as strong and confident as I’ve ever heard it.

“How can you say that?” I croak, my voice thick with unshed tears. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

“We can figure that out later,” she says, squeezing even harder. “Right now, you just need to know that everything is going to be okay.”

I give in and wrap my arms around her, too, clinging to my sister, letting myself feel every ounce of the fear that’s coursing through me. “I don’t know if it will, Rosie.”

“It will,” she insists. “The circumstances may be shitty, but at the end of this, there’s going to be a baby, Riv. And that means it will be more than okay.”

“A baby I have no idea how to take care of,” I say. Jesus, a baby I don’t even know if Jas will keep.

“You can figure it out, the same way everyone else does. You’re smart and—”

I push her arms away, that swell of anger hitting me yet again. “Not smart enough to make sure the birth control worked,” I snap. “Not smart enough to have any way of supporting either of them.” I tug at my hair. “We finally found it, huh? The ultimate River screw up. Can’t get much more irresponsible than this.”

“Stop it,” she says sharply. “Youaresmart, River, and you’re not a screw up.”

“Come on,” I bark. “How can you say that?”

She moves around so she’s in front of me, kneeling in the sand, forcing me to look at her. “I can say that because Iknowyou. Because you’re the person in the world I’ve always been able to count on.” She puts a hand on my cheek. “That kid will be lucky to have you.”

I brush her hand away and cover my face. I appreciate the effort. She might even believe it. But this time my too-smart older sister is wrong.

“You just found out about this?” she asks and I nod into my hands. “So you’re still in shock. It won’t always feel like this, Riv.”

“How could it feel any different? I ruined that girl’s life.”

“Bullshit. Pretty sure you weren’t the only person in that bed.”

“It was my responsibility—”

“It’s both of your responsibility,” she argues. “It’s not all on you.”

“But Jas has her shit together, Rose. She actually has goals. Focus. She’s in school, working towards something.” I shake my head. “This is the last thing she needs. A mistake like this—”

“Was I mistake?” Rose asks. “I certainly wasn’t planned.”

I glare at her. “Mom and Dad were together. It wasn’t the same thing and you know it.”

She shrugs. “Was still probably pretty scary for them. They were only, what, twenty-one? Younger than you are. Neither of them had great examples when it came to parenting. None of the older brothers had gone through it yet. They had no idea what they were doing. But they figured it out. And you will, too.”

“You make it sound so easy,” I mutter.

Her smile is a little sad. “I’m sure it won’t be easy, River. But I have faith in you.” I try not to let her declaration affect me. I don’t deserve to be comforted. But it’s impossible not to feel her words, at least a little. Rose is the best person I know and hearing that from her…I have to swallow hard.

“You do have one advantage over Mom and Dad,” she says softly, her smile less sad now.

“What’s that?”

“Us.” She holds out her arms. “You have so many people in your corner you won’t even know what to do with all that support.”