Page 47 of Good For Me

River

Iget to the cafe fifteen minutes early. Not like I’m obsessed or anything. Part of my eagerness was a desire to get the hell out of my house—Everly has been pretty unbearable since last night, asking me tons of questions about Jas and what happened between the two of us. Fox has been pretty cool about running interference for me with her, but I can tell he’s dying of curiosity, too. The entire vibe in that house was getting to me.

But I’d be fooling myself if I didn’t admit the main reason for my uncharacteristically punctual arrival is a simple desire to see Jas. If there’s any chance she might arrive early, I want to be here already. I don’t want to miss any time with her.

So I’m pretty damn shocked—and really fucking happy—when I walk into the coffee house at 1:45 and see Jas already sitting there. Could she have been as excited to see me as I’ve been to see her?

Our eyes lock as I step through the door and I realize she looks even more freaked out than she did last night. Not only pale, but slightly green around the edges. Her eyes are huge in her face. Huge and terrified.

Okay. Maybe not so excited to see me after all.

“Hey,” I tell her, approaching the table. “How’s it going?”

“Hey,” her voice is high pitched. “You’re early.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So are you.”

She nods rapidly, her eyes darting around the room. Something about her nervousness is makingmenervous.

“Did you get something to drink?” I ask, pulling out the seat across from her. “Is this an order at the counter kind of place or do they have waitresses?” I can hear myself starting to babble as I move to sit but I can’t seem to help it. My hands are sweating, I realize. And for some reason my heart is pounding really hard. “What kind of tea do you like? I’m not much of a tea guy but my sister, Rose—”

“River, I’m pregnant.”

I freeze, my ass still a few inches from the chair, and stare at her. A low buzz has started up in my ears, and it must have prevented me from hearing her correctly. Because there’s no way she just said—

“I’m pregnant,” she repeats, then sighs, rubbing her forehead. “And that was probably the shittiest way possible to tell you. Sorry. I’m really nervous.”

I can’t seem to move. Can’t seem to process her words. Can’t seem to do anything at all except stare at her blankly while I hover over this chair.

“River?” She blinks at me, and I vaguely wonder what my expression must look like. My body has gone completely numb. She snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Hey. You’re not going to pass out, are you?”

“No,” I finally manage to mumble, then collapse the rest of the way into the chair. “I’m sorry—I think I misheard you or something.”

Sympathy washes over her face. “You didn’t. I’m pregnant.”

Man, this numbness is starting to get pretty trippy. I’m vaguely aware that I should be reacting to this in some way. That I should be feeling something. I should definitelysaysomething. But all I can do is stare at her.

“It’s, uh, yours,” she continues. “If that wasn’t obvious.”

It’s yours.It. As in, the baby. Her baby.

Holy shit.

“You’re pregnant?”

“I appreciate this catatonic thing you seem to have going on,” she says drily. “You being a mess is helping me to feel much calmer.”

I rub my hands roughly over my face, trying to snap out of it.

“How…when…” Jesus, I can’t even form sentences.

Her eyebrow goes up. “How? We had sex, River.”

“We used condoms,” I shoot back. My face is starting to feel heated, my heart rate picking up again. Maybe the numb feeling is wearing off, because all of a sudden, panic rips through me. “We used condoms, Jas.”

Clearly agitated, she grabs the napkin in front of her, ripping the edges in long, straight lines. “I know. I remember.” She meets my eyes. “The last time, though? When you woke me up?” Her cheeks flush. “I couldn’t remember if you had one that time.”

The last time feels hazier than the others. Not that I can’t remember it—it may actually have been the best of the four times I got to be inside her that night. I’d woken up in the middle of the night and saw her lying there next to me, her head on one of my pillows, her dark hair spread out around me. Her face had looked so soft, so peaceful. All the sarcasm and hard edges that I was used to seeing softened while she slept. I hadn’t been able to help myself from kissing her, which woke her up, and then, well…