Page 109 of Good For Me

Jas

“River wants me to come back to his house,” I tell Brie, looking down at the phone in my hands. I can picture him with his cousins, eyes more than likely darting back to the screen, waiting for an answer. But I have no idea how to respond.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Brie asks, an edge in her voice.

I look up from my phone. The diner is totally dead tonight, and we’ve been sitting behind the counter for the last fifteen minutes, chatting while we do prep work for the morning shift. But now Brie’s movements look jerky, almost angry, as she wraps silverware.

“What’s the tone?” I ask.

“I have no tone.”

I scoff at that. “I’ve known you your whole life, you think I don’t know when you have a tone?”

She grumbles under her breath as she reaches for more silverware.

“What was that?” I ask loudly, cupping a hand over my ear.

She finally looks up and I’m not sure I like the expression on her face. “I just don’t want you to get in over your head with this guy. You need to be careful.”

I have to laugh at that. “I’m sorry, aren’t you the one who’s constantly telling me to live a little? To not be so worried about sticking to a plan? And now you’re telling me to be more careful?”

Her lips flatten. “I don’t trust him.”

“You don’t even know him,” I say, surprised by how sharp my voice comes out.

She narrows her eyes at me in an expression I definitely don’t like. It’s the expression she gets when she’s seeing right through me. “Youlikehim,” she breathes out. “You like, really like him.”

I roll my eyes and turn back to my work. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve known you your whole life, you think I don’t know when you like a boy?” she asks, throwing my words right back at me.

“We’re not in middle school, anymore, Brie. River isn’t some boy I have a crush on.”

“No,” she says calmly. “He’s just the father of your baby.”

I abandon the silverware and lean against the counter, eyeing my best friend. “Don’t you think that’s enough reason for me to be spending time with him?”

“You’re not just spending time,” she scoffs. “You’re totally banging him.”

I open my mouth to argue, but the look on her face stops me. She’s right—we know each other way too well to not pick up on this stuff.

“Is that so bad?” my voice sounds small, not like mine.

“Of course it’s not bad.” Brie wraps an arm around me. “No one deserves good sex more than you.”

I snort, pushing her away. “Then why are you giving me such a hard time?”

She’s quiet for a beat, studying me. “I’m just worried about you. Because you’re not just talking about banging the hot surfer guy, Jas. There’s a lot more to this.” She holds up a finger and begins counting off her points, like it’s a list she’s been forming for a long time. “You’re having a kid with him. He wants you tolivein his house. He’s a giant player. He already walked out on you once—”

“He didn’t walk out on me.” Hot anger licks my insides. I don’t like the way she’s talking about him, not at all. “I’m the one who told him I didn’t want more.”

She holds up her hands, clearly seeing how defensive I’m getting. “Hey, I’m the one who encouraged you to go for it the next day, remember? I told you it was silly to insist on one night only when you obviously wanted more.”

“Then why the hell have you done a complete one-eighty now?”

“Because he left.” She sounds exasperated. “And because he left, you had to face one of the scariest events of your life alone. Just because he was an immature little man baby. As soon as he knew he wasn’t getting in your pants again, he had no more need of you. He didn’t even say goodbye.”

I know that she has a point. About him not saying goodbye, at least. But the rest…do I really think River took off only because he’d already gotten what he wanted? I can picture his face that night so clearly, the hurt I saw flash in his eyes when I brushed him off. And I can remember all the things I’ve heard and seen since. When he said it was his best night ever back in Tennessee. The way he’s been trying to take care of me ever since he found out about the baby. The look in his eyes the other night when he peeled off my shirt—like he couldn’t believe he was actually there with me.