Page 139 of Wrong For Me

A trickle of unease slices through the contentment of the moment. Leo told me he spoke with Dr. Hernandez about rescheduling our office hours on Monday, so we’re in the clear for now. But I don’t want to think about school. Before Leo arrived, I’d been trying to muster up the courage to talk to my parents about some things, but now I just want to enjoy the moment.

My dad, apparently, has other ideas. “Leo, what’s my Rosie like as a professor?”

“I’m a teacher’s assistant, Dad. Not a professor.”

He ignores me. “Is she kicking ass at that school of yours?”

“She definitely does that,” Leo agrees. “She’s got the teacher death glare down really well. Makes all the undergrads cower in their chairs.”

I smack his arm. “I do not!”

He laughs. “You’re right. Rose is the nice one. All the students love her. I’m the one they’re scared of.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to smile once in a while,” I tell him. “No wonder they’re all afraid of you.”

“My scowling got you to like me, didn’t it?”

“Oh my God,” I laugh. “Okay, sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

Across the fire, I see my mom watching us with a smile on her face. I’m so glad we can be like this around my family—easy, teasing, comfortable. Ourselves.

“I don’t know how you do it,” River says, shaking his head. “Four years of grad school! And that’s on top of the time you already spent getting your bachelor’s. I would lose my mind if I had to be in a classroom that long.”

I shift on the blanket, disliking the direction of this conversation.

Leo notices. “You okay?” I try to smile but I don’t think it works very well.

“Rose is more disciplined than you,” Violet is saying. “That’s why she’s going to be the first doctor in the family.”

“I won’t be a doctor,” I mutter. “I’ll have my doctorate. There’s a difference.”

“Nah,” my dad says, grinning at me. “We’ve already decided we’re all going to call you Dr. Rose for the rest of your life. Better get used to it.”

I can feel Leo’s gaze on the side of my face but I don’t turn. He must be able to sense that something’s bothering me, though, because he changes the subject.

“What about you, Fox? You finished high school in the spring, right? Any plans for college?”

Eventually River and Will get out some guitars—a staple of any Ransome bonfire—and begin to play. I’m surprised when my Dad doesn’t join them. Instead he sits quietly, watching the fire and listening.

“Hey,” he says after a few long minutes, his voice soft enough so that only I hear.

I look over. “Yeah?”

His eyebrows are creased. “You worrying about going back to school with the press stuff?”

I shift. I honestly hadn’t really thought about it. I’d been so busy worrying about Mom and Leo I hadn’t really had time to think about increased attention on campus.

“Yeah, I guess.”

He studies me. “Something else is wrong. You got all fidgety when the subject of your degree came up.”

I meet his familiar blue eyes, so much like mine, and remember our conversation yesterday. When we’d promised we’d work harder at talking to each other. I take a deep breath. “Dad, I don’t think I want to get my doctorate.”

He just blinks at me, clearly caught off guard. Leo isn’t so composed. “Youwhat?”

The soft guitar music falters for a second, before picking up again, and Leo lowers his voice. “What are you talking about, Rose?”

I don’t know if I should address him or my dad. I end up staring at my sneakers while I talk. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Since the beginning of the year.” Longer than that, really. “I just…I don’t feel passionate about it anymore.”