Page 128 of Wrong For Me

Rose

The early morning air in the Tennessee mountains is brisk when I step onto the front porch of the old farmhouse. The sky is a deep, slate grey, slivers of yellow and orange just beginning to streak across the horizon. The sun will be up soon.

The screen door slams shut behind me and River appears with two mugs of coffee. He passes one to me, and sits down on the front step while I relax into one of the old rocking chairs.

“Did I wake you?” I ask, taking in his flannel pants, messy hair, and red eyes.

He shrugs. “You know how creaky that one stair is.”

“Sorry, Riv.”

He waves off my apology, taking a deep sip of his coffee. “How’d you sleep?”

“Not great.” Understatement. I was lucky to doze off a few times. Otherwise I spent my night staring at the familiar crack in the ceiling of my little yellow bedroom. The same bedroom that my parents brought me home to from the hospital after I was born.

River pulls the sleeves of his sweatshirt down. “Haven’t been up here this time of year in a while. Forgot how cold it could get.”

To me, the cool air feels great. Sitting here on this porch, I actually feel like I can breathe for the first time since yesterday evening.

For once in my life, I don’t give a damn about appearing spoiled. When River called our Uncle Lennon last night and asked him to arrange for one of the label’s private jets to be readied for us, my only emotion had been gratitude. Lennon hadn’t even questioned us. All he needed to hear from River was that leaving right away was what I wanted. Lennon is cool like that.

He did inform my brother that he was going to call our parents and let them know where we were going. I can’t blame him for that. They’re probably worried out of their minds. He also must have called the property management company that keeps an eye on things when we aren’t here, because we found a fully stocked fridge and pantry when we arrived after midnight last night. We keep some clothes and supplies here but there were new toothbrushes and bottles of shampoo in the bathroom just in case.

If you’re going to run away to have a meltdown, I guess it helps to have loaded parents.

My brother leans his head against the post of the stair railing. Riv is never up this early—he must be exhausted.

A wave of guilt rushes through me and I clear my throat. “Probably not your first choice for weekend plans. Stuck out here with just me.”

He shoots a sharp glance over his shoulder. “Like there’s anywhere else I’d be.”

I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “You’re a really good friend, little brother.”

“You would do the same for me.” He looks away again. “Sorry we couldn’t get ahold of Will before we left. I know you’d feel better if he was here.”

“No, Riv,” I say softly. “I’m just lucky to haveyouhere.”

I’m not sure how long we sit on the porch, watching the yard around the farmhouse slowly fill with morning light. The familiar sound of birds in the trees filter through from the woods, clear and bright. Eventually, River stands and stretches.

“My stomach is rumbling. You want eggs?”

“Sure,” I say, even though I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to eat a thing. He stops to kiss the top of my head on his way inside, and the lump comes back to my throat.

“Hey, Riv?” I call after him.

“Yeah?”

“What time are they getting here?”

He only pauses for a moment. I wonder if he’s going to deny it, but I think we both know there’s no point. Of course they’re coming.

“They were going to leave first thing. Probably be here early this afternoon.”

I nod, trying not to think about how tired our parents are going to be. They had already been in the air on their way back to LA when River and I took off for Tennessee. They would have arrived home late and then got up to head back to the airport first thing.

Another thing to feel guilty about.

I force down some eggs with River and spend the rest of the morning alternating between the porch swing and walks around the property. River is always close by, but I think he senses my need to be alone right now, because he doesn’t press me to join in.