Page 98 of Rescue

“We already did that, Lennon,” Reed mutters. “Jesus, we’ve been looking for you for two hours.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s all you have to say?” he asks, his voice loud again.

“Can you stop yelling, Reed?” I rub my suddenly pounding head. “Look, I’m sorry if I scared you.”

He collapses onto the sofa, his shoulders slumping, all the fight going out of him. “Lennon, I have been scared every second of every day since I saw you in that hospital bed.”

“I know,” I whisper, unable to look at him. “I’ve been scared too.”

There’s a beat of silence as a tremor seems to pass through the room. “Why have you been scared?” Daltrey asks, his voice shaking. “Do you want to… are you afraid you’re going to—”

“No.” I look around the room at them, all so tired. So worried. My dad alone hasn’t said a word. He’s sitting at the desk, his head in his hands.

“Levi, can you give us a minute?”

He shoots me an incredulous look. “Are you kidding me?”

“We need to talk about some things.” I meet his eyes, willing him to understand.

“Fine.” He rubs his face. “I’ll go tell the girls you’re back.”

“It’s going to be okay,” I say as he passes me. His eyes are questioning, but he nods at me before leaving.

“Why did you make Levi leave?” Daltrey asks, that scared note back in his voice.

“Something happened tonight.” I hear several sharp intakes of breath, and I hurry to explain. “Not to me, I’m fine but… someone that I care about is having a rough time. And seeing that… it made me understand, for the first time, really, what this all must have been like for you guys. Not knowing the truth about someone you love.”

“Lennon, we understand why you didn’t talk to us,” Cash says quickly. “You don’t have to beat yourself up.”

“Just listen, okay?” I manage a weak smile at my bad-tempered older brother. Just listening won’t be the easiest task for him. Cash prefers to yell when he’s mad. And break things. And he has plenty of company in this room when it comes to having a temper. A sudden lump comes to my throat. I love them so much. “I think we keep too much from each other,” I say. “And I think it’s time to put a stop to some of the lies.”

“What’re you—”

I ignore Daltrey and turn to my dad. “Mom didn’t leave us, did she?”

He finally lifts his head from his hands. He stares at me for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper. “No. I kicked her out.”

There’s several seconds of silence before the room explodes in noise.

“What?”

“Dad, what’re you talking about?”

“What’s going on?”

“You guys, please,” I call over them. “It will be easier if you let me talk.”

They actually shut up, all of them turning to me, though Reed can’t seem to stop glancing over at our dad. I swallow a few times, not sure how to start. “I… I’ve always had these weird memories about her. Stuff that didn’t make sense to me.”

“Lennon,” Dad says in a strangled voice. “What did you—”

“They were mostly normal things,” I continue, staring at the floor. Saying this out loud makes it all feel so much more real. “She would take me on errands with her, just the two of us. She used to tell me that I was the only one who could be quiet enough to go to the bank or whatever. And I was so proud of that. That we had these special times together, you know? But now, when I remember those times… I don’t feel proud. I feel really scared.”

“Why?” Cash asks. “What’s scary about that?”

I shake my head. “That’s the thing. I never knew what was scary about any of it. Because it seemed so… unimportant. Just normal, everyday stuff. But for some reason, whenever I would think about those memories or… dream about them… I would feel scared. And really guilty.”