Page 89 of Always You (A Lilac Bay Novel)

My stomach dropped, thinking of all the opinions my mother might have shared with my little sister. “What’d she say?”

“That she felt awful. That she tried to hit you. She said the details were fuzzy, but she knew she was really mean to you.”

Mean to me.I almost wanted to laugh. That was one way to put it.

“Anyhow, she said she felt awful and she wants to try to make some changes.”

“And Lynn is going to help her with that?” I couldn’t believe that my aunt would back down so easily.

“She got her into a rehab facility.”

“What?” Our mother had never, ever shown any interest in rehab. She was in too much denial about her condition. “You’re kidding me.”

Rebecca shook her head. “I’m not. She’s starting tomorrow.”

“I’m not going to hold my breath,” I muttered.

“That was my first thought. But maybe if Lynn is helping her…” She trailed off, but not before I recognized the note of hope in her voice. My stomach clenched, knowing there was no way to keep her from getting her hopes up. And in that moment, I hated my mother. Not for the drinking or blaming me for Dad’s death or any of the cruel things she had said. I hated her for making my sister believe that things could be different.

“She said she might stick around there,” Rebecca said. “In Grand Rapids, I mean. After rehab. Said Lynn could help her get some assistance, maybe get a job.” Another thing I wouldn’t be holding my breath over anytime soon. “She said it was time for a change, that she didn’t think the island was a very healthy place for her.”

I snorted, unable to come up with a response for that which didn’t include a monstrous amount of curse words.

“I know,” Rebecca said softly. “I know it would be stupid to take her at her word.” She was quiet for a moment. “It’s just—”Ah, here it is,I thought. “It’s just—I keep thinking about what that must have been like for her.”

“What?”

“Leaving. Calling Lynn after everything that happened. Packing up her things and leaving the house she’s lived in for ten years. I mean—that’s a big deal, Riley. And she did it all by herself, you know? It must have been so scary. Maybe…”

She trailed off again, but I didn’t need to hear the end of the sentence.Maybe it means that things will be different.That’s what she was hoping for.

“I don’t know,” I said, looking away. I couldn’t stand to see the optimism in her face. “I just don’t know, Beccs.”

We were quiet for a long time, sitting there on the porch together. It was strange to think about my reasons for coming over. Everything else seemed so unimportant now.

Mom was actually gone. For the first time in years, she wasn’t here on Lilac Bay. I didn’t know how that made me feel. There was a kernel of fear there, deep in my chest, knowing that she had gone somewhere that I couldn’t help her. Guilt, too, that she was someone else’s problem, at least for the time being. But more than any of that, there was relief. Because tonight I could go to sleep and not think about her, alone in that little house. I could go about my day tomorrow without the fear that my next trip to her place would bring a gruesome discovery. I didn’t have to worry about Rebecca dealing with the problem and hiding it from me. I didn’t have to worry at all.

For today, at least.

“Hang on one second,” Rebecca said, startling me from my musings when she stood. “I’ll be right back.”

She reappeared a few minutes later, a bottle of white wine and two plastic cups in her hand. “Isn’t it a little tacky to toast to our mother’s stint in rehab with alcohol?” I asked as she handed me a cup. “With plastic, no less.”

“Ha ha,” she muttered, filling the cups before reclaiming her rocking chair. “I just thought wine would be a welcome accompaniment to our subject change.”

“Oh, Beccs, no, I don’t want to talk about that now.”

“Too bad,” she said, her voice several shades fiercer than I was used to. “We’ve spent the last fifteen years tiptoeing around Mom’s issues. Her drinking has way too much real estate in our heads, sister. We’re done with that—at least for tonight. Okay? We’re going to share this bottle of wine and we’re going to talk about this kiss.” She glared at me. “Got it?”

I couldn’t help but grin at her. I kind of liked this take-no-shit version of my sister. “Got it.”

“So. The kiss.”

I took a long slug of my wine before responding, knowing that I would need it if we were going to have this conversation.

“It was a pretty good kiss.”

“It looked like a good kiss.” She leaned towards me, her eyes flashing in the darkness. Oh, God. She was way too excited about this. I needed to put the brakes on, fast.