Page 42 of Always You (A Lilac Bay Novel)

“You want me to—” Andrew asked, nodding his chin toward the hallway. I shook my head. As tempting as it was, I wasn’t going to make him go find my mother. I flipped the light switch and nothing happened, the hallway still dark.

“I’ll get that,” Andrew said, heading back to the kitchen in search of a light bulb. For a second I considered calling out, asking him not to leave me to find what was behind her door all on my own.

Grow up, Riley, I told myself. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been in this position before. I took a deep breath, straightening my shoulders, and knocked on her door.

No answer.

This time I didn’t give her a second chance. I pushed the door open to reveal a dark bedroom, the curtains pulled tightly against the daylight. The bed was a mess of un-tucked sheets and a rumpled quilt. And there in the middle, fast asleep, was my mother, snoring.

I felt a rush of relief so strong I had to lean into the doorjamb. Snoring meant breathing.

It took me only a few seconds to get myself together so I could approach the bed. I had encountered my mother passed out enough times to know the drill. I needed to turn the lights on, to get her on her side, needed to make sure her breathing was steady and regular. If I could wake her up I would feel a lot better. It was when she was unresponsive that things got really scary.

“Mom,” I said, proud of how steady my voice was. “Wake up, Mom.”

I moved to shake her shoulder but stopped when her eyes opened, blinking up at me. “Riley?”

“It’s me, Mom. How are you feeling?”

She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. “I’m tired. Head hurts.”

“I’ll get you some painkillers and a glass of water.”

“Tylenol,” she mumbled, pulling the blankets up to her neck. “Works better.”

And it’s dangerous for your liver to mix acetaminophen with that much alcohol, I thought, adjusting her blanket and heading out of the room. A fact the doctor had told me the last time she'd had to be hospitalized for one of these benders.

I found Andrew in the kitchen, throwing away paper plates and empty bottles. “You don’t have to do that,” I said, feeling suddenly tired.

He continued working. “She awake?”

“She was. By the looks of things she’s probably back asleep. But she asked for something for her head, so...” I trailed off, shrugging my shoulders. The exhaustion made my limbs feel heavy, my stomach a little queasy.

“Why don’t you sit for a minute,” he suggested, watching me.

“No, I’m fine.” I straightened and went to the cabinet in search of a clean glass but only found coffee mugs. I sighed. May as well brew a pot of that, too, in case she decided to stay awake for a while. I found the bottle of medicine and filled a mug with water before heading back to her room. Just as I expected, she was snoring again under her covers. I watched for a minute as her thin shoulders moved up and down. Steady. Regular. Then I left the mug and pills on the nightstand and went out to help Andrew clean up.

It only took us twenty minutes to get the place put back together. It was mostly cluttered, not having yet reached the really filthy stage. But she was definitely on that path. She’d been here enough times before for me to see how this pattern played out. First it was a little too much beer at night, passing out on the couch instead of her bed. Then she moved onto harder stuff. She stopped showering. Stopped cleaning up after herself. Stopped eating. We weren’t there yet. But we would be, more than likely. I would need to spend more time here, would need to check in on her. Exactly what I needed right now, with television producers on their way to our island.

I wish there was someone else, I thought.Someone else to deal with this.

I felt a rush of guilt as my gaze landed on a picture on top of the television set. I was fifteen there, which meant it had been taken only a year before we lost Dad. A year before my world imploded. A car accident on the mainland on our way home from one of my track meets. I’d been the only one in the car with him. Had to sit there and wait for the ambulance to come, knowing he was gone. We looked so happy in that picture, Rebecca and I with our shining blond hair, our parents smiling behind us.

Who did you have in mind to deal with this problem?I asked myself, staring at the picture. Rebecca? Should she be leaving her three children to come over here and look after our mother? Or should we be pissed at Dad for dying fourteen years ago? Who, exactly, did I think should come and save me from this?

“Why don’t you get her up, get her in the shower,” Andrew suggested, coming to stand next to me. For a moment I thought he might put a hand on my shoulder, comfort me, but he thought better of it. He knew me too well. “I’ll run the vacuum and make some food. I saw eggs in there when I was cleaning up.”

I nodded. It would be good to know she was clean, to get some food in her. I headed to the hallway, only stopping when I was far enough away that he wouldn’t be able to see my face.

“Thank you, Andrew.”

“It’s no problem, Riley,” he said, his voice gentle and more comforting than any touch could have been. I closed my eyes, letting the sound wash over me. “No problem at all.”