Page 108 of Always You (A Lilac Bay Novel)

“Your mom is getting help. Rebecca has Jake. Neither of them is your problem anymore. And now that the show is over I think you should start thinking about what comes next for you.” He met my eyes. “And I don’t think that’s on this island.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me.”

He shrugged. “You’re right. But I’m not interested in being something else that makes you feel trapped here.”

“That’s ridiculous!”

“I’m going to be on the mainland next week.”

That stopped me short. “Why?” A little bud of fear was blossoming in my stomach.

“I’m doing some work for my dad. He’s been wanting to expand into Traverse City for a while now, and this opportunity came up, so I’m helping with a project.”

“What about work?” I wasn’t sure why, but the thought of him leaving, even for a week, terrified me.

“I have some time saved.”

“Andrew, you always said you would never work for your dad.”

His eyes flashed. “I guess it’s time to grow up, Riley.”

“We’ll talk when you get back then?”

“Sure.” He smiled but no expression had ever looked sadder on him. “That’s what we do, right?”

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” I whispered.

“I think it does.” He reached out and took my hands, and I could have wept, so sure he was going to pull me into his arms. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead, squeezing my hands one more time. Then he let go and turned away, leaving me there by water’s edge.

It was beyond strange to go entire days without seeing Andrew. I didn’t think that had happened since college. And even then we’d talked online. This silence was strange and awful and I had no idea what to do about it. What would happen when he came back? Would we go right back to how we were before the stupid skit? Or would it be more like last night—Andrew cold and dismissive, me panicked and unable to figure out how to tell him what I wanted? Or even to understand what I wanted myself.

“Give it time,” Rebecca told me when I called her. “You’re borrowing tomorrow’s problems. Just try to keep yourself busy.”

That was much easier said than done. The show was finished and everyone in the mayor’s office was walking around with that day-after-Christmas mope. The scavenger hunt episode had aired, the announcement that we’d been kicked off at the beginning. Our footage hadn’t been shown, of course, meaning that my kiss with Andrew would never be seen. For some reason, that made me really sad.

Gina called to touch base, again telling me how impressed she’d been with my work and offering a reference if I needed it. I thanked her and said I was thinking about it.

Maybe I should try something new, I thought as I made my way home that afternoon. The Lilac Festival was over, further diminishing my responsibilities at work. A long summer of dealing with random islander complaints and coordinating movie nights in the square stretched in front of me. Really stimulating stuff.

And no Andrew.

It was strange. A few months ago I was so upset about the failed tourism campaign, so convinced that getting on the show would turn everything around. And now, we’d done it. We’d been on TV. Our tourist numbers had skyrocketed. The mayor’s office had received three new requests to begin planning hotels from mainland developers. We’d come a long way since April, and a lot of it was my doing.

So why did I feel so much worse now than I did before?

I flipped through the mail as I scratched Gordie behind the ears, pausing when an actual letter appeared between the bills and credit card offers. The handwriting was familiar, and I flipped the envelope over to see a Grand Rapids return address on the back.

My fingers were shaking as I opened the letter. It was short—barely half a page. I took a deep breath and read.

Riley,

I can only imagine what you must think of me. I don’t blame you for it. I’ve been awful. I don’t think I even understand quite how bad. A lot of what happens when I’m drinking is a blur to me. That’s not an excuse, just an acknowledgment that my behavior has probably been much worse than I even know. I can’t ask you to forgive me. I don’t deserve that. But I do need you to know that nothing that has happened has been your fault. You’ve taken wonderful care of your little sister and I’ll always be thankful to you for that. I know your father would be too. You’re so much like him, Riley. I think that’s why it’s been so hard for me to see you. I want to thank you for looking out for me even when I didn’t deserve it. I hope that now you’ll take some time to look after yourself. The work you’ve done for the island is really something. I’m proud of you. I won’t make you promises, Riley. That’s not fair. But I’m going to work very hard. And I hope a day will come when we’ll be able to sit down and really talk. Until then, please take care of yourself. Be happy. You deserve it.

Mom

I held the envelope in my hands for a long time, waiting for tears to come. None did. As far as apologies went, it wasn’t the best. But she had been honest. And maybe, right now, that was all I could ask for.

When my phone rang a moment later, I picked it up without checking the screen, my mind a few hundred miles away, somewhere near Grand Rapids.

“Hello?”

“Riley James?” a strangely familiar voice said.

“Yes, this is.”

“Riley, this is Heather Dale. I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”