Page 57 of Weathering The Storm

I know what this boat means to him. I know it the way I know most things about him. Not because he’s said it in so many words, but because I’ve paid more attention to him than to anything else in my life.

The yellow raft hits the water and disappears for a second in the trough before it bobs back up. An absurdly small emergency light flashing against the heaving sea.

“Abandon ship.” Nick gives the order as the next swell takes theSuoja, flooding her with water that drags at my calves, chilly as hell and shockingly heavy. It might’ve yanked me under if not for Nick’s hand, latching onto my arm.

The crew goes over. One, then two, then three. For one, horrific second, it’s just the three of us. Me, Nick, and theSuoja, groaning her last sounds beneath our feet.

“I love you,” Nick says.

Then he yanks us both over the railing.

The water comes up to meet us. Darker than black. Cold in a way that makes every cold I’ve experienced before seem like a warm memory.

And in that moment, I’m calmer than I ever thought possible.

There is nothing more to be done. No what-ifs. There is only what happens next, and that’s out of our control.

My last thought, before the sea swallows the sound of everything, is that in all her violence, in all her indifference, she is still, somehow, beautiful.

What a beautiful place to die with the man I love.

Chapter 16

Nick

Ilose sight and grip of Seth as soon as we hit the water. Faster than the plunge itself, the current tears him away from me.

We’re on our own. Adrift.

Shock sets in, and all my adrenaline narrows to a single point, a sole focus. I search for five reflective blips in the freezing black water. Four red ones and one yellow one. By the looks of it, Orlov, Perry, and Jorgensen have managed to find their way to the life raft.

The biggest red splotch, Orlov, I believe, has made it inside, Jorgensen is climbing over the side, and then they both helpPerry. I’m not sure if it’s the blur of salt and rain obscuring my vision, but his leg doesn’t seem to be bent at the right angle.

That still leaves Seth though.Fuck.

Where is he?

“SETH,”I scream.

Thunder rumbles. Lightning cracks, splitting the sky like a fracture through drift ice. The sea gurgles and hisses, laughing in my damn face while it threatens to take everything from me.

“SETH!”

I have no idea if he’s able to hear me even if his head is above water. Between the silence from Seth, the shrieking dissonance of the weather, and the anguished groans coming from theSuoja,I’m living through the soundtrack of my worst fears.

“Can you see him?”I shout to the others in the life raft.

If we don’t get out of here soon, our odds of surviving this night are going to plummet from uncomfortable to impossible.

When a ship sinks, it doesn’t go down on its own. It sucks everything near it into the vortex, pulling it straight to the bottom of the sea. I’m not sure if she’ll take on too much water first and succumb that way, or if the weight of the ice will finally roll her over. Either way, it’s bad news for us to be this close. The last thing we need is two hundred tons of steel coming down on top of us.

The other guys appear as little blips of bright reflective material beneath the canopy of the raft, shifting side to side as they searchfor Seth with me. For the first time tonight, I’m not second-guessing. I amconfidentthat I’m about to make the wrong decision.

If it comes down to it, I know I’ll cut that painter line and send them on their way without me. I can’t evacuate knowing Seth is still out there. I justcan’t.

I can’t leave him.

I can’t lose him.