Page 202 of Game Misconduct

Honestly, Tanner was kinda into the secrecy anyway. It was sorta … thrilling to know they were sneaking around behind everyone’s back.

Well, not everyone. Nicky and Ian knew they were together. But no one else.

“Hey, you planning to shower eventually?” Ian asked now, snapping Tanner from his thoughts about the summer.

“I guess I should hose off, huh?” Tanner said with a laugh as he chucked his sweaty undershirt in the wash bin.

He’d gotten alittlebetter about cleaning up after himself after spending a good chunk of the summer with Leif. It turned out itdidhelp to know they were both neurodivergent.

The psychiatrist Tanner had met with had grimaced when he saw Tanner’s results and talked to him about his experiences growing up.

“I am sorry they missed diagnosing you when you were a child,” he’d said. “That must have been really hard.”

Tanner had shrugged, because what was in the past was over and done with and he didn’t really think there was any point in getting all hung up on it. But as he talked to the doctor more and listened to the stuff Leif had sent him, he realized that a lot of things in his life really had been harder for him than they were for other people.

He wasn’t dumb for struggling in school or bad at adulting when he left wet laundry sitting in the dryer for days or left a trail of mess after himself wherever he went. His brain just … didn’t work the same way other people’s did.

Now as Tanner continued to strip off, he thought about Leif getting confirmation that he was on the autistic spectrum.

He’d been really quiet about the diagnosis for a few days, then decided it gave him the chance to get to know himself better. Now he would have better ideas about what to do when he raninto stuff that frustrated him or he wasn’t sure why he was reacting a certain way to something.

He’d said that, mostly, it had given him more information to work with.

And honestly, it had been nice knowing they were going through it all together.

Tanner’s doctor had offered him medication of course. Tanner had talked to Leif and his mom and Jeff about it. Part of him had worried he’d stop beinghimself, but Leif had helped him find info about people who really loved the meds and felt like they were life-changing.

Tanner could take the non-stimulant drugs without getting in trouble with the league, but he’d finally decided against it.

“Like, I’m doing okay now, right?” he’d asked Leif one night when he was still trying to decide. “I know I don’t totally have my shit together, but I don’t think the ADHD is fucking up my hockey or my relationships or anything …”

Leif had nodded. “Whatever you feel is best. Besides, that might change someday. It’ll be different when you retire, maybe.”

“Retire?” Tanner had yelped and smacked his thigh. “Dude, I’m only twenty-six! I have a lot of hockey to play. Don’t jinx me like that.”

But he got Leif’s point.

So no meds. Not now, anyway. Just systems and routines and stuff. And dude, he was apro hockey player.If anyone could learn new systems and routines, it was him. Especially because Leif was really good at just quietly showing him how things could be better. He’d been doing it all summer.

“Tanner?” Ian said.

“Sorry, brain went offline for a bit,” Tanner said with a shake of his head. “Thanks!”

Salty knew about his diagnosis too.

He was a lot different than Crawford had been. Soft-spoken and kind, which felt a little weird. But he’d already invited Tanner over to meet Emmie, which was pretty dope, and Tanner knew they’d be tight in no time.

“Get your ass in gear, Clayton!” Leif said as Tanner walked past him in the shower room. “If you’re not ready to go in ten, I’m leaving you here!”

“Nooo!” Tanner yelped, playing it up a bit because this was the fun part. “You wouldn’t!”

“Don’t test me.” Leif had his sour-lemon face going on but Tanner knew it was just for show now.

“Whyareyou living with him anyway?” Drew Palmer asked.

Tanner shrugged and ducked under the nearest shower head, yelping when he turned on the water and it was still a little cold. “Well, we played together in Juniors.”

“Yeah, I know, but didn’t you two hate each other’s guts when you played for Boston?”