Page 125 of Cheap Shot

Luke winced, because yeah … he could see that.

“But Nicky was there for me. He never fucking wavered, not even once, not even when I came out before our draft year. He was planning to stay in the closet, but hestillstuck up for me, at a huge personal risk to himself and his career.”

Swallowing, Luke nodded. That had been long before Noah Boucher had come out, before anyone in the league had openly said they were anything but straight. And Calhoun had been atopprospect. Lot of teams had been salivating over drafting him.

Most guys in Calhoun’s position would have distanced themselves as much as possible from Sebastian. Luke certainly would have.

“I get why you feel loyal to him,” Luke admitted.

“Our friendship has … has kinda fallen off a little in the past few years.”

“Since his concussion,” Luke guessed.

“Yeah. Since then. He isolated himself a lot. I did my best to stay in contact with him for a while but with my move, with everything with Brie and Harper, I haven’t been there for him as much as I should’ve been.”

Luke nodded.

“So for the most part, I’ve managed to stuff down the fact I’ve been feeling guilty about fucking you and being friends withNicky. But lately, things between the two of us have been a little different, right?” Sebastian said, gesturing between him and Luke.

“Yeah.” Luke cleared his throat. Because he might not be the smartest man around but even he could tell that things with Sebastian weren’t the same as they had been when they started.

Weren’t the same as they had been with any other hookups he’d had.

He’d let himself get more personal.

Hecaredabout Harper and wanted to help out her and Brie. And he cared about Sebastian in a way he’d never expected to. In a way he hadn’t thought he’d everwantto. In a way he didn’t fully understand.

What that allmeant, Luke wasn’t sure, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed it changing.

Sebastian glanced at him. “Well, I ignored that until I couldn’t anymore. Until Brie found out we were hooking up and reminded me that—that what I’ve been doing with you is—is kinda disrespectful to Nicky and how he’s been struggling.”

Luke grimaced, wanting to argue, wanting to tell Sebastian that Calhoun wouldunderstand.

Nicholas Calhoun was a pro hockey player. They all knew going into this career that it could end at any point. It could end quickly and violently. One decision, one wrong move on the ice, and a career—hell, even alife—could be over in the blink of an eye.

But he let Sebastian continue.

“And then Nicky texted me the other night. He said he was coming back, finally playing again. He said I’d been a good friend and that he wanted to hang out when he was in town—” Sebastian looked him in the eye. “And no, we’renothooking up. We haven’t since we were teenagers. But we were each other’s firsts and I suppose that comes with a certain amount of nostalgia, even if it wasn’t that good in hindsight. We fumbled our way through learning how to have sex together and that—thatmeantsomething to both of us, okay?”

Luke nodded.

Sebastian pulled in a deep breath. “And so last night I was feeling guilty. I was feeling guilty for having sex with you and maybe starting to—tolikeyou, you know?”

“Okay.”

“Last night, I shouldn’t have—I should have told you no when we started fooling around. At first, it seemed hot and then I started to feel … guilty and I …” He shook his head and looked away, falling silent.

“Do you regret it?” Luke asked. “Did I do something you didn’t want?”

Sebastian looked startled when he glanced back. “No! Not … not in that way. You gave me ample opportunity to say no. I was the one who kept egging you on.”

“Yeah, but?—”

Sebastian stepped forward, settling his palms against Luke’s chest. The warmth of them through the fabric, the pressure, made some of the tightness in Luke’s lungs go away.

“Hey,” Sebastian said roughly. “I don’t want you to feel bad about that. The sex was hot. It wasmyresponsibility to stop it once I started to feel conflicted about my friendship with Nicky, okay?”

Luke nodded.