Page 28 of The Cowboy's Cabaret

“You got something to say, Jasper? She’s trying to help.” Wes is pissed. His posture is rigid and I dart my eyes under the table quickly to see Wes’ clenched fists.

“This won’t work. It sounds like a fuck ton of work and the possibility of a lot more problems for this place. She’s trying to help herself. We’re just convenient, what difference does it make?”

“Jasper, before I embarrass you in front of your mama here, let’s take this outside and you can yell at a tree for all I care. You will not talk to my best friend that way again or it’ll be the last thing you fucking do.” Daphne slams her hands down on the table before she gets up. “I’m sorry for yelling, Lorraine.” Shockingly, Jasper gets up and follows behind her.

Lorraine nods and looks at me apologetically. “Don’t listen to him. I think it’s a great idea.”

“You know how he is. Jasper will come around eventually. He moves slow,” Stone adds.

Wes is shaking his head and it almost looks like he’s about to get up and go after them, so I place my hand on his thigh. His body tenses with my touch and I go to pull my hand back, fearful I’ve overstepped, when he reaches down and covers my hand with his larger, tattooed one. I give him a soft smile and apologize to Lorraine.

Oblivious to the tension, Liam and Emmett barrel through the front door with Amber on their heels.

“Grandma! Grandma! We’re back and we had so much fun with Mommy. She hits the ball so good. She said maybe we could play on the baseball team soon.” Emmett is panting withhis brother following close behind as Lorraine reaches to hug both boys. Amber watches them with a smile. She’s beautiful in a classic way, long blonde hair and freckles decorating her cheeks. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and I recognize the exhaustion in her eyes as she kisses her mom and whispers something before disappearing up the stairs.

Lorraine settles the boys in and makes them plates and we finish the remainder of dinner without incident. My hand stays on Wes’ leg until we move to clean up and I don’t hate it one bit.

After dinner,I’m grabbing my notebook and computer from my room when Daphne pops her head in.

“Hi.” She slinks into the room. “Are you doing alright?” I know Daphne is fiercely protective of me, but I’m surprised she went with Jasper to defuse things.

“I’m good, yeah. Just anxious. I feel like shit if they think I’m moving in on their livelihood or trying to ruin things. I want to help and this is something to benefit us both.” I sit next to Daphne, our knees knocking against each other.

“You shouldn’t feel bad because Jasper can’t regulate his emotions for shit. He’ll come around. He needs to figure himself out, but that’s not on you. He’s got his own troubles, but it’s not fair for you to catch strays when he and Wes are fighting.” I know she’s right, but it doesn’t change the guilt settling in my chest. “Are you going to work on the grant?” she asks, pointing at my laptop.

I nod. “Wes and I are going to start a rough draft tonight.”

Daphne’s knowing smirk prickles my skin, because I can already hear the teasing before she starts. “My sweet girl, you need to make a move. Or he does. Or you both need tomake a move, preferably while on top of each other. He’s so unbelievably down bad for you, it’s adorable.” My cheeks flame.

“I highly doubt it, but I appreciate your support. It’s not worth the risk to end up fucking miserable and down a friend. I care about him too much to throw our friendship away because I’m horny.” I know I’m minimizing my feelings for him, but I don’t need to hand Daphne anymore ammunition for the cause.

“You could easily fuck him without marrying him and shitting out a ton of babies. You realize that, right? You could just do the nasty and move on. Or a novel idea—you do the nasty, you fall in love, and it all works out? Also an option.”

“How dare you try to use logic with me!” I scoff. “It’s not happening. Sadly, I do not possess the sex without feelings gene, and the gamble of true love is too big a risk for me. Anyways, if I get with Wes, our plan to whore it up in the fifty-five-plus community goes right out the window. Absolutely tragic.”

“I appreciate your dedication to our retirement plans, but I do want you to be happy. Wes can, and does, make you happy.”

I wish I could believe her, I really do. I would love nothing more than to fall into the arms of a safe man who makes me feel loved every second of the day. Maybe if I had a better example of relationships growing up I could love freely, but it wasn’t my reality. My dad wouldn’t know faithfulness if it hit him in the face, so any woman he dated after my mom angrily exited his life as quickly as she appeared.

“I owe you a movie night soon, promise.” I give Daphne a squeeze and a sad smile, heading to find Wes.

TWENTY-THREE

love is patient, love is kind, please blow my mind

Dahlia

The night aircools around the farm as the sun sets, framing the barn in a halo of orange. Being here settles something in me—safety maybe? The property has such character. Tall trees frame Wes’ cabin, while the dirt road kicks up dust with the breeze. It feels like a gentle hand caressing my cheek, soothing in a way I didn’t realize I needed.

I find Wes on the front porch, legs stretched out, hands behind his head. I don’t think he sees me sneak out the door yet from the angle he’s at, so I take the time to drink him in. He’s changed into gray sweats and a Fata Morgana band tee and he sits in what looks to be a well-loved rocking chair. I love how he and I share the same taste in music, and it certainly doesn’t hurt he’s so close with my favorite band.

Strong arms raise above his head to stretch and his lower stomach peaks out below the hem of his shirt. His stomach looks soft, yet I know there’s a wall of solid muscle hidden beneath. From this angle, I can’t see too much but I remember the dark hair trailing down his stomach and into his pants. His bare feet move to stand and I clumsily trip on the door’s threshold as he turns my way.

“Dahlia, were you creeping?” he asks with a hand on his chest as if he’s scandalized and I bite back a smile.

“Oh dear, I could never. What would the townsfolk say if they caught wind of my indecency—ogling a gentleman in the night. The scandal!” Our easy banter is familiar and it’s another way I feel close to him, safe with him.

“Ogle away, Princess,” he says, leading us back inside. He gestures at the couch area then at the hallway, silently giving the choice of where we work. I’m feeling bold so I head down the hall to his room, allowing him to trail behind me. If I didn’t know any better I’d swear I heard a muttered curse.