Page 37 of Brave Truth

“Aren’t we back to whether it’s ethical or kind to do that to you? Or let you do that?” Claudio took a deep breath. “Not something I’m going to solve today, all right. Though I’m glad you’ve said this. Having it out is a help. I look forward to Tuesdays after the meeting. Just a space to talk. My friends are grand, but seeing you is like seeing them. Space where I can breathe, expand, just be without expectations. I’d like more of that.”

His voice caught for a second, and he swallowed, and then went on, with barely a pause. “There are a number of bits that are specific to you, and you’re right, you enjoy the administrative puzzles more than they do. More of the quiet, too. You’re right about how precious that is. I’ve had enough to know it and greedy enough to want more of it. If my life will settle down. I don’t think it’s going to, though.”

Matthew nodded slowly. “Is there a time frame for the particular sort of chaos? Professional devotion beyond the parts you already know about?” Maybe having an idea of how long would be a help. Matthew was flailing a bit now.

“End of the summer. By the first of September, I should have a much better idea of what’s going on there.” Naming it seemed good for Claudio, too. “Is that too much of a bother? I’d entirely understand if you didn’t want to deal with that sort of foolishness.” He caught himself on the last word, as if it meant something particular.

“I would rather give this— whatever we’re doing— a try than not, thank you. You’ll tell me more if and when you can, right?” Matthew said that carefully. He didn’t want to press Claudio into a promise he couldn’t actually keep.

“If I can. Some of it will be obvious?” Claudio seemed to be feeling his way through it. “So. Um.” He glanced around. “Look, now I’m intensely curious about your books. You can tell so much about someone by what they’ve got out. I don’t want to be rude, but I want to know that about you.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a swot?” Matthew laughed. “Go ahead and look. Let me go see about drinks, all right?” Both of them needed a breather from the utter intensity. He thought they’d said all that was sensible to say right now. Going at it more wouldn’t help, and it might hurt them both. That Claudio had agreed that this was something he enjoyed was far more than Matthew had ever expected to get. He would not let himself get greedy and spoil everything.

Chapter 25

Tuesday, May 30th

A fortnight later, Claudio felt restless. The good kind of restless. What he was supposed to be doing a bit more in the world, that was the right way to put it. It was definitely a Tower sort of restless, seeing something that had hardened and needed changing. He was not, however, entirely certain what to do with it.

Perhaps he just felt a tad unsettled because they weren’t meeting in their usual room. That had been pre-empted for a day-long preparation meeting in advance of the Midsummer Faire. The materia discussion had been pushed into a meeting room at the opposite end of the floor from Matthew’s office.

It was decidedly not optimal, but it had shaken some of the usual patterns up. Claudio had spent the first half of the discussion chiming in here and there. That was about the schools and the orders they’d be planning over the summer. Then they got onto what was going to be the first in a series. Or so Claudio thought until Matthew put down his pen three minutes into the next topic.

“Wait. Let me put all of this together properly. You’re saying that when it comes to the materia harvests, the forms go through twelve different departments here, then they get hung up waiting on four other people to sign off, and then it’s another three rounds of paperwork before anyone can even consider putting in requests?” He looked, honestly, stunned.

“It’s all necessary. Surely you’ll see that if you take a look at it.” Aldous Short rummaged in his portfolio, pulling out a file. “Have you not seen the chart since you returned?”

Matthew took a breath, the sort that Claudio marked but that probably didn’t show to others. He took the chart. “I have, but let me glance at your copy.” There were a few moments where he did just that, pointedly quiet, then he set it down. “We can do better, surely.”

“But that’s how it’s been done for twenty years now.” Isa Brown cut in. “More than that. Longer than you’ve been at the Ministry, I think.”

“Then, surely, it is due for a review.” Matthew looked down again. “Thoughts?”

There was utter silence. Claudio could see the way Matthew was looking at the room, a steady, stubborn resilience. He’d started counting automatically as soon as the silence began. He didn’t want to jump in too fast. Or rather, he wanted to, but it was strategically the wrong thing. One of the Penelopes had told him during his training that if you waited seven seconds, you’d find out if someone else was likely to speak. Give them twelve or fourteen, and it wasn’t likely.

Now, Claudio could hear his heart thumping with each beat, but he waited. He made himself wait. Doing this right mattered most. He knew Matthew understood that. Understood that the waiting was deliberate. It wasn’t that Claudio didn’t want to back him or wouldn’t. Claudio would, because it was a bloody good point. But if they were to see it through, that took strategy.

Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Then Claudio spoke, using every bit of what he’d learned from Mother and Father, from Isembard and Thesan and Gabe and Ursula. And from Gabe’s parents, and from so many other people, about how to persuade with words alone. “I agree it’s overdue for a review. May I see it?” Matthew turned the page so Claudio could see it.

Claudio made a point of tracing a line or two with his finger. “There are at least three unnecessary inefficiencies I can spot without any effort. That suggests there are more. What would you like to propose, Lawson, about how to go about it in this particular case? We won’t manage it in time for this year’s harvest, probably. But aiming for next, with some initial controlled trials for specific plants this cycle?” He added before anyone could argue. “Something with an August or September harvest, not the solstice ones, obviously.”

There was a moment of silence, and then everyone else at the table was talking over and around and through each other’s words. Claudio leaned back, listening intently to the words as much as to the patterns. It took the rest of the meeting time, but Matthew got everyone to settle and to be willing to consider further discussion.

He said he’d have notes by the end of the week about which points he felt should get priority for re-evaluation. Matthew even worked around to a couple of people agreeing that it was worth some attention. Those agreed they’d help with a specific piece, and had stubborned everyone else into going along with it.

It did mean that everyone was glad to flee the meeting when time was up. Also, someone else needed the room. Claudio hung back, taking his time gathering his papers. “Pub?” He made it casual, but he could see Matthew was still in a state of some arousal. The way both Orion and Claudio could be after a duel or solving a problem that desperately needed it.

Orion swore arousal was the right word, that there was something sexual about it as well, at least in quality of intensity. Claudio had to take his word for it. Until now. There was certainly a spark in the air, something intangible but present.

Matthew looked up quickly, the way Cammie looked when she’d been hunting. “Mmm. Yes.” He seemed a hair distracted. “Minute, I’ll need something from my office. Maybe the supply closet. Mind coming along?”

Claudio shook his head, wordless. They slipped out of the meeting room, everyone who’d been waiting piling in, and the hallway was empty. Matthew glanced along, then stopped at a door a few doors down from his own office near the far end. “Here.” He didn’t actually touch Claudio, not here and now, but the word caught as firmly as if he had.

It was, in point of fact, a broom closet. Matthew pulled the door shut, then said. “Charm. Please, gods. Charm?” His voice cracked on the last bit. “Door and sound?” There was light from a narrow window, facing the grey stone wall of another building, but not so much as to be glaring.

Claudio blinked at him, but the charms were not a great effort. He got the door to lock from this side, got the privacy charm up. And then he turned back to find Matthew looking straight at him from perhaps six inches away, pupils wide. Matthew had his hands behind his back, his shoulders suggesting that he’d got one hand in the other, the little signs of pulling tension. “Charm. You were brilliant.” All of that was truth.

“You were as well. You backed me, too. Backed my play as perfectly as any bohort match I’ve ever seen you play. Is that what you’re like when you’re being a Penelope with your whole self, nothing else in the world?” Matthew— no, this must be Matty, could only be Matty— was breathless with it, a racing eagerness.