Page 31 of Brave Truth

Chapter 21

That evening

“Ready to talk about it?” Claudio looked over his shoulder to find Cammie standing there with a glass in her hand, offering it to him. Gin and tonic, suitable for the coming summer. Fairlight was glowing in the greens of the season, distracting him for a moment. She tilted her head, as if she were measuring him up in a dozen ways, making a quantitative assessment. She likely was. From most other people, he’d feel prickly about it at best, and more likely actively annoyed. From Cammie, it was a sign of care.

There were a number of things about Cammie that were true. But one of them here and now was that there was something about her that attracted him. Not that he’d ever act on that. She’d been seeing Duncan when they’d met, they’d married as soon as they could after the war. But something about her was a bright light in his life, one he was grateful for and one he trusted. Everyone standing here now knew that, as much as they knew about his crush on her.

“How long do we have?” He turned back to survey the rest of the terrace. Duncan had disappeared upstairs to the nursery to read bedtime stories. Achilles and Eleanor, Orion’s brother and mother, had disappeared to their rooms until supper. It left Orion, Hypatia, and Cammie. Chances were good that someone here had arranged that.

“At least twenty minutes. Duncan said he’d give us warning before he came back.” Definitely arranged. That certainly meant Claudio should take it as the gift from his friend that it was and make the most of it. Putting this off more wouldn’t help anything.

He took the glass from Cammie’s hand, then a couple of steps back toward the wicker seating. “I—” Now he was here, he wasn’t sure how to start. Then, having lost every grip on rhetoric and well-organised thought he’d ever had, he just said, “Help?” With anyone else, he’d have checked on them keeping it confidential first, but all four of them had the same take on secrets, especially other people’s. Cammie certainly kept plenty of others from Duncan, because of her cryptography work and what it produced.

Orion immediately sat, rather than fussing physically, his entire focus on Claudio. Hypatia was right next to him, and Cammie went to perch on the bench facing the other seats, leaving the solo chair for Claudio. He didn’t actually sit, though. It made him feel penned in. All of them were focused on him.

He knew a great many intensely competent and intelligent people, but these were three of the best. And certainly three of the six he most trusted. Not just in their competence, but that they wanted good things for him. It would have been impossible to have this conversation if Gabe, Isembard, or Thesan were here, in any combination, though. That was a different frame for it. Well, and he’d already talked it over with Gabe.

He let out a puff of breath. “Alexander’s retiring.” Orion knew that obviously, and possibly the others, but it set the topic. “He set things up so that I’d realise that he thinks I should Challenge for the seat.”

Claudio was watching Orion in particular, and his brother’s face went through a series of expressions from consideration to the shape that was entirely internally-focused, to the one that came out with strategy and tactics. Or would, as soon as Claudio indicated his actual goals and what the aim was. Cammie looked amused, as if he’d said something that wasn’t what she’d expected, but she didn’t interrupt or even look like she had anything to say just yet.

Claudio lifted his glass. “Realised while I was in Northumbria. Gabe knows.” Gabe had not, however, actually offered anything like advice. Just support, which was an entirely different category.

Orion caught that first, of course. They knew each other this way particularly well. “I notice you haven’t actually said you’re going to. Yet.”

A second later, Cammie added, “What do you need from us? Or want. Wanting is good too.”

On Orion’s far side, Hypatia had tilted her head. She said nothing immediately, but she didn’t need to. He knew she was thinking, and she’d speak when she had something worth saying. Now, Claudio took a sip of his drink, mostly to give himself another moment to shoo the thoughts in his head into some sort of order. “It means a particular shape to my life. For the rest of my life. I don’t know what I think about that. Whether I’m successful or not.” That was the thing. People failed at Council Challenges. Orion had before. Though they had a better idea of why now.

“The Tower,” Orion considered. Hypatia and Cammie knew the theory almost as well as Claudio and Gabe and Orion did. Though neither of them had as much direct experience of the Council to draw on beyond what showed in public places. “Is this where I get my own back about the shape of it?”

“If you feel it necessary.” Claudio said. Orion had more earned that. “You see what I mean, though? Other seats, I’d— I don’t know. It would be a different kind of commitment.”

“Rather,” Orion leaned back now, and he was definitely getting into thinking about the consequences. Orion was actually a lousy chess player. Too few dimensions for his options, over too short a time. He was deft with a card game, but a better player when he was working on multiple levels. Getting people relaxed enough to chat about topics with a looser tongue than they might otherwise, for example. “Lay it out. You’ve been thinking about it for what, ten days now?”

“Mm-hmm. Talked it through with Gabe properly on Saturday. We didn’t have privacy for it before. I’ll—” He hesitated. “I suspect I’ll be going to talk to Thesan and Isembard about it on Sunday after the bohort, when we can get a bit of time.” Might as well admit that much.

“Do you want to do this?” Hypatia’s voice cut across clearly.

“Want’s not the right word.” That came out immediately. Then Claudio added, “Gabe’s already called me on that point. You needn’t go to the effort. That I am less tangled about things in my life than I was, but emotions have never been my strength. Either acknowledging them or doing much with them. Gabe pointed out that might be part of the consequences of the Tower.”

Cammie snorted. Claudio looked at her, and he realised, suddenly, what she’d thought the topic was likely to be when she’d handed him a drink. She caught him looking and gave him a tiny nod, the sort Orion would notice but not interpret. He didn’t lay bets on what Hypatia would notice, but she’d ask Cammie about it privately later. Nothing he could do about that. He knew better than to get between them.

Orion was still watching him. “You know I’d love to have you there. The things it’d let me— us— do. Gabe’s got the wrong angle on some of it. Alexander won’t be there, definitionally.” Then he said what they were all obviously thinking. “Your mother, on the other hand.”

“That’s part of the problem of shape. There’s at least ten years— probably more like fifteen— before she’s likely to retire.” He added, to spare Hypatia having to ask, as she was more delicate about that sort of thing than Cammie was, “She turned sixty-six in March.” Then he added, as if he hadn’t been thinking about it for decades, “And there’s the part where Challenging feels like letting her win. Her and Father both.”

“Can’t have that.” Cammie agreed, with the sort of toothy grin that suggested she would be entirely glad to go bite everyone involved repeatedly until they were sensible. Even if that were a tad tricky with Father in an entirely ornate and well-warded marble mausoleum. Besides, it wouldn’t do for Cammie to get ill. “You’re going to do it, though. Just to be clear.”

Claudio sucked in a breath. “Yeah.” It sounded utterly unenthusiastic, and that wasn’t how he wanted to think about it. It was the wrong approach to the challenge of it— and an even worse one to the mystery of it, magically and spiritually speaking. Claudio might not be remotely religious, but he wasn’t ignorant of the numinous aspects here. Or rude enough to ignore them, anyway.

Then, carefully, he put it into words, making it more real. “There’s a part of me that desperately wants to go through that door and have that experience, whatever happens. And there’s a probably sensible part of me that is entirely aware of all the places it’s going to shatter things beyond mending.”

“That would be the Tower for you,” Orion said softly. “What do you need from us? To do this, the way you want? And did Gabe already claim dibs on sponsoring you?”

“Gabe said he’d be glad to defer to you. I think that’s a question of politics and how we want to play it. I don’t want to tell Mother terribly soon. It’s not like I need to. It might play better if I don’t bring it up for a bit. I can prepare and all that without telling her. June, maybe? Can’t decide whether before or after Solstice is better.”

“Alexander will get one last chance at the dances, either way.” Orion nodded. “No, that’s a good strategy. What else?”