Page 37 of One Day at a Time

‘Right then, what would you like to do next? Do you want to nip up to your ward and let the girls know the good news?’ her mum asked.

The Elderly Ward was in the main building, only a few minutes’ walk and a lift ride away, but Orla shook her head. ‘No. They’ll just be clearing lunch and getting ready for afternoon rounds, so I don’t want to get in the way. They’re all coming over later, so I’ll save it until then. How about we go and have some lunch? We’ve got plenty of time before you need to leave for the airport and Yvie’s boyfriend, Carlo, owns a lovely café just a few minutes from here.’

Ignoring the pang of dread sparked by the mention of her mum leaving, she linked her arm through Nula’s as they walked. Conversation was impossible with the noise of the traffic thundering past, so they just made small talk until Carlo was welcoming her to his café with a hug and kisses on each cheek. Orla introduced her mum and he greeted her just as warmly.Orla was sure that Yvie would have filled her lovely fiancé in on all the drama, but he made no mention of it as he showed them both to a quiet booth in the corner, took their order for two mugs of tea and left them to peruse the menu.

Her mum immediately put it to one side and reached over, putting her hands on Orla’s. ‘How are you holding up, my love? You did great back there, but I know this has to be bringing up such mixed emotions for you.’

‘How did you get so wise there, Yoda?’ Orla was teasing, but they both knew that she was right.

Her mum, never one to fill the silences, waited for her to go on.

‘You know, Mam, I keep thinking of everything in the singular now. I had to correct myself a couple of times even in the scan this morning. My first thought was that I was going to have a girl. Not “we”. It’s like he’s broken us. I don’t know if that makes any sense…’

‘It makes perfect sense, darling.’

‘And I keep getting furious with myself because I want to let it go, for the baby’s sake and for mine too.’ She felt a tear slide down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. ‘And I’m so fricking sick of crying. I just want to be happy, and I am, Mam – I’ve wanted this baby for so long. But it’s just…’ She stopped herself. ‘I’m not even going to say it because I’m tired of listening to myself talking about what happened too. I need to get over it. And I will.’ That sounded so positive and definite, until a weaker, ‘I think,’ popped out afterwards. ‘I just need to focus on being grateful for the good things, like you being here. I don’t know what I’d have done without you for these last few weeks.’

‘You know, I can stay longer if you need me here. It’s actually nice visiting Glasgow again. Reminds me of when I was a kid.’

That confused Orla. ‘Why’s that, Mam? Did you used to come here when you were younger?’

Her mum frowned. ‘Have I never told you that before? I used to have family here. Cousins that we visited a few times a million years ago. They’re all gone now, of course. Anyway, back to you. Shall I stay longer? I can get someone to stand in for me on the next trip.’

Orla shook her head. ‘Thank you, Mam, but no, it’s fine. You need to get back to your life, and I know how much you miss it.’ Her mum was due to leave on an aid convoy heading to Ukraine in two days’ time.

‘I do, but you’re more important than anything else and I need you to always know that. Just say the word and I’ll be back. You know, Orla, I could move here…’

Would Orla love that? Yes, she absolutely would. But… ‘Mam, you’d hate it here. We both know that. You’d be bored rigid and desperate to go jaunting off again within a month.’

Her mum was too honest to argue. They’d had so many discussions about how her work was her true vocation in life, about how the feeling that she was helping people, really making a difference, fulfilled her just as much as her decades-long career in nursing. It was her reason for getting up in the morning, the thing that fuelled her to ignore what the numbers on her birthday cake said and just climb on that wagon and keep going. ‘That might be true, but I’d still do it in a heartbeat if you and my granddaughter need me here.’

Just hearing the word granddaughter made another tear fall. ‘Oh for feck’s sake, the state of me,’ Orla muttered as she wiped it away again.

‘You know, I’m grateful too because I’m getting a chance to experience this pregnancy through you. It’s all new feelings to me, and oh, my love, it’s miraculous. I’ve told you a million timesthat the first moment that I lifted you up, I knew you were mine, as if I’d given birth to you myself, but this… this is a joy that I’m so thankful to share with you.’

Orla’s bottom lip began to quiver uncontrollably. ‘Mam, you’re going to have to stop or I’ll crumble into a pile of tears and snot right in the middle of this café and Carlo will have to ask us to leave because we’re terrifying his customers.’

Chuckling, her mum let go of her hands and sat up straight, allowing them both to shake off their emotions and take a breath. Orla had the sudden thought that she couldn’t bear her mum to go off today with worries on her mind, so she tried to reassure her.

‘Anyway, contrary to this appearance and my constant need to test the powers of my waterproof mascara, I’m fine, Mam. I’ve got my babe…’ She rubbed her bump, her smile instinctive as she did so. ‘And I’ve got my pals. Yvie, Emmy and Keli are like a round-the-clock surveillance and support service, so I’m not handling this alone.’

Her mum was thoughtful for a second as she took that in. ‘And you’ve got Kyle too, darling.’ Since the moment she’d arrived, her mum hadn’t judged, hadn’t ranted, or inserted herself in the situation. She’d just been a calm head who listened and supported. ‘You know, love, I’m not here to tell you what to do, and I’ll go with any decision that you make. But all I want to say is that if you’re going to make a go of this, then you need to find a way to forgive him, because the alternative is just too sore on your heart.’

Orla thought about that. Knew she was right. Nodded in agreement. But the words coming out of her mouth told a different story.

‘The problem is, Mam, I just don’t know if I can.’

OCTOBER

19

SHEENA

Dr Rose’s greeting was as cheery as always as she beckoned them into her treatment room at Glasgow Central Hospital. ‘Well, hello there, Sheena! Come on in and take a seat and… Oh. You’re not alone today then.’

‘No, this is my… my husband. Gregor.’

‘Pleased to meet you,’ Gregor said, with a polite nod and the air of a man who still couldn’t quite believe that he was here. Sheena completely understood because she still couldn’t quite believe that she was here either. Still, at least the colour had returned to his face. When she’d delivered the news, he’d gone so pale she’d thought for a moment that she’d ended him.