Page 91 of Darling Girls

‘What’s going on?’ Alicia asked.

Jessica waved her hand airily. ‘Work stuff. Too boring to go into. You’re right – it’s been a long day, and I’m tired. Let’s stay the night.’

‘I’ll get my stuff from the car,’ Norah said, heading for the door, presumably before Jessica could change her mind.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Alicia asked Jessica.

‘I’m fine; I just need a good night’s sleep.’

‘All right,’ Alicia said. She could use that herself. ‘I’ll just call –’

‘Meera,’ Norah said.

‘Yes,’ Alicia said, surprised. ‘How did you know?’

‘No, I mean . . .Meera.’ She pointed.

Alicia turned to the doorway.

And there she was. In jeans and a trench coat, her hair pulled up in its signature messy bun. ‘Thought you could use a lawyer on the ground,’ she said, smiling. ‘Or a friend.’

The tears Alicia had been holding at bay all day didn’t stand a chance.

To Alicia’s relief, her sisters played it cool – even Norah. They greeted Meera, thanked her for recommending Anna, and refrained from commenting when Alicia suggested they go into her bedroom so they could talk (although Norah’s facial expression did speak volumes).

‘I can’t believe you came here,’ Alicia said, closing the door behind her.

‘Why not?’

Meera sat on the bed, while Alicia paced the room. She felt rattled by Meera’s unexpected arrival. Panicked. Thrilled. ‘Because . . . because why would you?’

Meera shrugged. She looked like a doll, with her long curled eyelashes, her high cheekbones, her bow lips. ‘Because we’re friends. That’s what friends do.’

‘Are wefriends?’

It wasn’t like Alicia to be like this. She chalked it up to the emotion of the weekend.

Meera chuckled. ‘Sure. Stop pacing, would you? You’re stressing me out. Sit down.’

Alicia caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She was a wreck. She ran her hands through her hair to smooth it, but the effort proved staggeringly ineffective. Then she sat next to Meera on the bed, but her heart continued to race. It was Meera’s presence. Somehow it both comforted her and made her nervous simultaneously. Her knee began to jiggle. ‘Sorry.’

Meera laughed. ‘For God’s sake,’ she said, shaking her head. Then she leaned over and kissed Alicia on the lips.

45

JESSICA

After Meera and Alicia disappeared into Alicia’s room, Jessica decided to retire to her own. It had been a good idea to stay another night, she decided. It wouldn’t have been safe for her to drive with all these thoughts spiralling in her head – not to mention the Valium in her system. Sleep would give her some respite for a few hours. Under the circumstances, it was the best Jessica could hope for.

She lay on the scratchy bed linen and closed her eyes, trying to find an aspect of her life that she could focus on without feeling positively ill. There wasn’t one. It had happened so quickly – the unravelling of Jessica’s carefully structured life. Or had it? Perhaps it had been slowly falling apart for a while.

According to Sonja, the situation was looking pretty dire. Half-a-dozen complaints since yesterday, all about pills going missing from bathroom cabinets and bedside tables, and now Debbie was threatening to go to the police as well as the media. Normally Jessica would have run towards a disaster like this, desperate to get on top of it before it got on top of her. But today she didn’t have it in her. If she was honest, today she actuallywantedthings to implode – and to take her down – so she wouldn’t have to deal, to be responsible and hold it all together. Because then she would have peace.

At the edges of her consciousness, Jessica became aware of a hushed, disagreeable conversation taking place outside the cottage. A marital argument, perhaps. She and Phil rarely argued. They were polite – too polite. Maybe they needed to argue more. Connect more.

‘What is the matter with you?’ an irritated voice said.

Jessica couldn’t help but tune in. Even through her fog, someone else’s misery was a siren.