Page 9 of Darling Girls

They’d discontinued therapy shortly after that because Jessica was too busy helping Alicia move house and dealing with Norah’s anger-management problems to attend appointments.

‘There’s lasagna in the oven,’ Jessica said to Phil. ‘You go ahead – I’m not eating.’

‘You didn’t need to cook for me,’ he said.

They went through this dance every time: Phil pretending he knew how to cook, Jessica pretending she wouldn’t have an anxiety attack if Phil started messing about in her kitchen.Theirkitchen.

‘I’m happy to do it,’ Jessica said. ‘But, Phil, would you mind giving us a minute? We’re dealing with some family stuff.’

‘Cool,’ he said, and he wandered towards the kitchen without another word. Chill Phil.

‘Thank you!’ she called after him, smiling extra hard.

‘We need to go to Port Agatha,’ Alicia said when he was gone, her tone more decisive now. ‘If we leave in the morning, we’ll be there by lunchtime and can be home by tomorrow night. It’s only a day. We can do this.’

‘We’ll be together,’ Norah added.

Jessica stared at her sisters. They’d gone mad.

‘If we go to Port Agatha, they’re going to pore over every detail of our childhood and analyse every moment we remember from Wild Meadows!’ Jessica cried. ‘Have you forgotten what happened last time we did that?’

‘They didn’t believe us,’ Alicia admitted.

‘They thought we were batshit crazy,’ Norah added.

‘Exactly. So you’ll forgive me if I don’t want to go running back there after one vague phone call.’

Jessica sat down in an attempt to create an air of finality. As far as she was concerned, the matter was settled. There was no need to go to Port Agatha. The discovery of the bones was tragic, but nothing to do with them. They couldn’t shed any light on them, even if they wanted to.

‘But what if weweren’tcrazy?’ Alicia said quietly.

She and Norah were no longer flopped. They sat upright, spines straight, their eyes wide like the vulnerable little girls they’d once been.

‘Alicia,’ Jessica warned, but it was too late. Pandora’s box was open. Maybe it had been open from the moment the detective called.

‘If we weren’t crazy,’ Norah was saying, almost to herself, ‘it explains why human bones were found under Wild Meadows.’

This was exactly what Jessica was afraid of.

5

JESSICA

BEFORE

Jessica only had a handful of memories of life before she came to Wild Meadows. According to her social worker, she’d lived in a tiny studio apartment that was perched above the shop where her mother – a Chinese immigrant – worked as a seamstress. When Jessica sent her mind back to that time, she could unearth only a few small details – the smell of noodles cooking in the microwave; the sound of her mother’s slippers scuffing on the kitchen floor; the women standing on chairs while her mother hemmed their skirts and trousers. As for her father, she always associated him with the smell of cigarettes and the prickle of his stubble when he kissed her cheek, but she might easily have invented those things. There was no information about him in the social worker’s file.

She did distinctly remember the day her mother died. She’d been at day care. When the police officer came into the room, Jessica had thought it was going to be like the firefighter’s visit they’d had the week prior. But the police officer spoke only to the teacher, who immediately looked at Jessica.

They told Jessica her mother had been very sad, and then she died. Jessica didn’t know you could die from being sad. She remembered being very careful not to cry about her mother in case she died too. To distract herself from her pain, she focused on practical matters. Jessica didn’t have any aunts or uncles, and no one knew anything about her mother’s parents.

‘Who will look after me?’

‘Where will I live?’

‘What will I do for money?’

Jessica hadn’t known about the foster system back then, of course. She pictured herself living out of a cardboard box on the street. She was already wondering if she’d be allowed to go back to her home to get some cushions and blankets when the social worker, Scott, told her the ‘good news’. He’d found a place for Jessica to go – wasn’t that lucky?