Page 26 of Darling Girls

She laughed nervously. ‘Grammy says I have a big appetite.’

Miss Fairchild sat back in her chair, taking her time to finish chewing. After she swallowed, she laid her cutlery in the centre of her plate. ‘Sounds like Grammy was overfeeding you.’ She ran her gaze over Alicia, then gave her a tiny smile. ‘It’s not your fault. People overfeed kids, making little gluttons of them. It’s why we have a childhood-obesity epidemic.’

Jessica and Norah looked at their plates.

Miss Fairchild stood to clear up and Alicia blinked back tears of surprise and humiliation. The first thing she did, Alicia noticed, was empty the remaining rice from the saucepan into the bin.

The moment Alicia closed the bathroom door, the tears came in a flood. It was a blessed relief, after fighting them back since dinner.Let them out!Grammy always exclaimed when Alicia cried, pulling her to her bosom.You’ll feel better after.

But after ten minutes of crying, Alicia didn’t feel better. It was a scary feeling, being shunned by an adult who was responsible for your care. Alicia was used to people beingdelightedby her. Grammy, obviously. All of Grammy’s friends. Her teachers at school, her friends’ parents. In her world, people were warm and friendly and kind. This place felt like a horrible parallel universe.

When she had finally cried herself out she returned to the bedroom, expecting to find the girls sitting up in bed reading or chatting. Instead, the room was quiet. Each bed butted up against a wall. Jessica and Norah were on their sides, facing the centre of the room. By the light of the dim lamp at Norah’s bedside, Alicia saw that their eyes were closed.

It was so odd, so abrupt.

‘Are you guys going to go straight to sleep?’ Alicia asked as she sat on her bed.

‘What else would we do?’ Jessica whispered. ‘And keep your voice down!’

‘I don’t know,’ Alicia said, lowering her voice. ‘Faff around. Chat. Plan what clothes to wear tomorrow. Read a book.’

No response. Norah, Alicia noticed, was frowning.

‘At home,’ Alicia explained, ‘Grammy tells me a bedtime joke every night. Every night a different joke! I never understood how she had so many of them until I found a book of jokes under her bed.’ Alicia felt a fresh stab of sadness.

‘What’s a bedtime joke?’ Norah said.

‘Shhhh!’ Jessica hissed.

‘What should you do if you can’t go to sleep?’ Alicia said.

Norah opened her mouth to respond.

‘No, you don’t answer – it’s a joke,’ Alicia explained.

‘Oh,’ Norah said, but she still looked confused.

‘You lie on the edge of the bed and soon you’ll drop off.’

Alicia waited for laughter, but both girls remained silent.

Then Norah said quietly, ‘I get it. You meant drop off to sleep, right? That’s funny.’

Jessica said nothing, too busy shushing them and stealing glances at the doorway to take it in.

It wasn’t exactly the response Alicia was hoping for, but she suspected it was the best she was going to get. She closed her eyes, ready to put an end to this horrible day. In her mind’s eye she saw Grammy sitting on the edge of her bed, resting her blue-veined hand on Alicia’s hip.

‘Goodnight, Grammy,’ she whispered, not caring if Jessica or Norah heard her. ‘I’ll be home soon.’

Alicia had never told Grammy a lie. She hoped this wouldn’t be her first.

12

ALICIA

BEFORE

‘You girls had better hurry,’ Miss Fairchild said, ‘or you’ll be late for school.’