Page 73 of The Good Sister

But lately I’m wondering if I did the wrong thing, covering for her. Maybe by not allowing her to face the consequences of her actions, I’ve created a monster. There’s no doubt that Fern can be dangerous when she’s angry. And now that there is a baby involved, I’m terrified that she will pay the price for my mistake.

FERN

When my three-hourly medications are due, the nurse makes her rounds and I opt to take the full dose. Oblivion is preferable to all the thoughts swirling in my mind. Owen is not going to raise the baby with Rose. Rose wants Wally to give her money. Wally thinks there is something wrong with Rose. Mum is dead, and Rose was the last person to see her. It’s too much for my brain to handle. I can see, all at once, the appeal of drugs. Understand the calling of an addict.

By the time Rose returns to the hospital, I am nearly asleep. I keep my eyes closed, but I feel her in the room. I’m not sure if her presence is a comfort or a threat. I am still musing on this when I hear a distinct American accent coming from just outside the doorway.

‘I’m here to see Fern.’

My eyes spring open . . . I’d have thought I was having some sort of drug-induced fantasy – if it weren’t for the speed at which Rose jumps out of her chair and runs to the door.

‘I wish you’d called ahead, Rocco.’ Rose says. She walks into the hallway, pulling the door to my room nearly all the way closed behind her. ‘Unfortunately, it’s not a good time.’

I try to sit up, but I feel dizzy and have to lie back down.

‘I don’t need you to tell me when an appropriate time to visit Fern is,’ Wally says. His voice lacks its usual warmth. In fact, he sounds downright angry.

‘Actually, you do. Because she’s asleep.’

‘Fine. I’ll wait.’

There’s a short pause. ‘Look, I’m glad you’re here. Why don’t you and I go somewhere and we can–’

‘I’m not going anywhere with you.’

There’s a short silence and then Rose closes the door fully. When she speaks again, I have to strain to hear.

‘We need to talk, Rocco.’

‘Fine. Let’s talk about how Fern says she doesn’t need any money–’

‘Of course she won’t tell you that. She’s ashamed. She’s ashamed that she can’t even raise her own baby!’

‘What do you mean?’

‘She’s adopting the baby out to me. I’m going to raise it.’

‘What?’

I hear the wheels of a cart on the linoleum floors and then Rose says, ‘No, thanks,’ and the sound recedes.

‘Why is Fern giving her baby to you? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘Is it?’ I can hear a thread of strain in Rose’s voice. ‘Come on. We both know Fern isn’t capable of looking after a child–’

‘Of course she is. I think Fern would make a terrific mother.’

More silence. I feel the painkillers swirl in my bloodstream which, while not unpleasant, is quite distracting.

‘There are things you don’t know, Rocco.’ Rose sighs. ‘Fern’s dangerous.’

Wally scoffs. ‘If you’re talking about what happened by the river when you were twelve, Fern told me about that.’

There is a long silence. When Rose finally speaks, she sounds uncertain. ‘Fern told you?’

‘Yes.’

‘She told you she drowned a boy in the river?’