Page 7 of Offside

Šíma

item two. recovery. pool at ten. attendance is not optional. this is the captain speaking through me, the way saints speak through weeping statues

Hájek

pool at ten. food at twelve. film at four. that is the whole day. anyone who front-loads his legs answers to me

Horak

did anyone else’s family send the clip of me crying? my mother has sent it four times. with commentary

Polášek

seven time zones watched it live, kid. there is no containing it now

Šíma

item three. Horak cried in high definition and a nation loved him for it. wear it like a cap. the record certainly will

Kovár

eggs are back to normal. investigation closed

Šíma

fifteen days of proceedings and the eggs case closes in one line. the committee notes the verdict and finds it suspiciously tidy

Kovár

noted

Šíma

item four. Italy has been eliminated from this World Cup by this squad. I said it out loud to the mirror this morning for wellness reasons and the mirror agreed

Novotný

SAY IT AGAIN

Šíma

no. rationing. it has to last five more days

Novotný

then the bar. tell the bar one

Šíma

the bourbon report is a breakfast item. there is a ceiling fan involved and the fan deserves a seated audience. that is all I will say in print

Novotný

I am already seated

Polášek

he is standing in the lift. I am watching him type