Page 87 of Ring Rust

“What?” Jasper asked. “I can tell you’re really worried about him, why wouldn’t you go?”

Ryan stared across the table at Jasper, his face unreadable. “I didn’t want—Earlier, when we—” Ryan sighed and rubbed his face. Jasper was starting to feel uneasy when Ryan said, “I just wanted to clear it with you first. I’m sorry, I am just so scared of fucking this up.”

“Ryan,” Jasper said, scooting his chair closer.

“No, I know, I wanted to clear it with you, but then I freaked myself out a little bit and thought maybe it’d be best if I just told him I couldn’t come. But then I felt like an asshole. But I’d rather be an asshole to Micah than lose you again, so I just?—”

“Okay,” Jasper said, rubbing Ryan’s leg. “Relax. Breathe.”

Ryan nodded and took an exaggerated breath.

“All I ever wanted was for you to talk to me before you made decisions. I never wanted to stop you from doing things. I just wanted to be involved in the conversation. But this isn’t a contract renewal or an extra tour. This is your friend, who needs you.” It was such a departure from what had become the norm intheir relationship, he was taken aback—in a good way—when he realized he was eager for Ryan to go. “Did you think I’d be upset about that?”

“I don’t know. Will you be mad if I say yes?”

Jasper huffed out a small laugh. “No. Maybe. But only because I made you feel that way.”

Ryan pressed his lips together and looked down at his hands, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

“Go!” Jasper said. “Go now. Do you need me to drive you? I can. And I’ll pick you up whenever you’re ready to come back.”

“No, I’m allowed to drive. I’ll probably only be there a couple nights. I guess Micah’s mom is having trouble finding a flight.”

“Okay,” Jasper said. He stood up and pulled Ryan out of his chair. “Go pack a bag. Keep in touch, but I’ll see you soon. Right?”

Ryan nodded. “Of course. I’ll be in touch. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“I know you will.”

As confident ashe was with the way they’d left things before Ryan went to Boston, Jasper was jittery walking up the steps to Beni’s house a few days later. He was a jumble of emotions—refreshed and optimistic but carrying a bundle of anxiety he just couldn’t shake. Stevie had almost taken his head off the night before when he’d been unable to stop jiggling his leg at their parents’ anniversary dinner.

It didn’t make a ton of sense, he supposed—Ryan’s fear around telling Jasper he wanted to go to Boston should have been enough to solidify Jasper’s trust that they were equally invested. Nearly three months of Ryan working to win Jasperback should have done the same thing. But fear wasn’t always rational, and Jasper’s plans for the day felt… significant.

At a little after ten, Jasper pushed through Beni’s front door and was met with a quiet, empty house. Armed with a tote bag full of equipment and a grocery bag full of ingredients, he made his way to the kitchen to set up. He’d planned to cook the day before, but Ryan ended up staying in Boston an extra night—Micah’s mom wasn’t strong enough to transfer him to his wheelchair, so he stuck around until Micah’s brother arrived.

Ryan’s nerves had been palpable through the phone when he’d called with that update. Jasper was just happy he’d called at all, but once they hung up, he felt a flush of guilt that maybe he’d traumatized Ryan permanently. But maybe Ryan was feeling the same way, and they’d just have to work through it together.

There was a meal Jasper made once or twice a year, whenever Ryan seemed particularly exhausted or in need of comfort food he wasn’t in charge of making. It was something Ryan ate with gusto every time, so it felt like a nice way to honor everything they were leaning into—finding their way back to each other, their upcoming anniversary, even Ryan being on his way to a fully healed shoulder. All of it felt worth celebrating.

Jasper plopped his stuff on the counter and set up the slow cooker, dumping the ingredients in and turning it on. There was still no sign of anyone in the house—he knew Nina and Beni had taken Ryan’s parents out for the day, a trip into Boston to visit the aquarium, but that didn’t explain Ryan’s absence.

He was probably still sleeping. Jasper washed his hands and hurried down the hall, ignoring the embarrassment that nipped at his heels over how happy he was.

As he suspected, Ryan was there, in bed. Jasper tiptoed across the room and crawled in next to him, pressing his body against Ryan’s uninjured side. He took a deep breath in. Ryan was warm, and the blankets held the musky scent of hisbody. His cock took interest, but he ignored it. Despite Jasper’s impatience to get their day started, he forced himself to submit to the comforts of sharing a bed with Ryan again, and without a pillow barrier. Sleepiness took hold eventually, and he let his eyes drift shut.

Seconds later, he heard Ryan take a deep breath in and shift his body as he wrapped an arm around him.

“Jasper?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmm. Good morning.”

“Hi.”

Ryan pulled him close and fell back asleep, giving Jasper time to doze until his timer went off. The sound woke Ryan up, too.

“What time is it?”