Page 72 of Ring Rust

“Because you think I’m just putting on this act to get you back.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“I’m not, Jasper. I would never lie to you just to get you back and repeat all the mistakes that made me lose you.”

“I believe you think that. But tonight is an example of the decision making that damaged our relationship in the first place.” Jasper reached across the counter and placed his hand on top of Ryan’s. “I don’t want to fight. I want to eat dinner and keep seeing you a lot. And maybe we just take things slow.”

Ryan huffed out a laugh. “So, what, you just get to decide that’s what we’re doing? I don’t get a say?”

The irony didn’t escape Jasper, but he left it alone. “I think we want the same thing, right? The same end goal?”

“I can’t… casually date my husband, Jasper. And it hurts to think you can.”

“I’m not asking to date casually. I’m just asking for a little more time before we jump in with both feet.”

Ryan drummed his fingers on the counter.

“Ryan?”

“I heard you. I’m just thinking.”

Jasper refilled Ryan’s glass and pushed it towards him, giving him one less reason to call it a night. The fight seemed to leave Ryan’s body as he took his jacket off and draped it over the kitchen chairs. He kicked his shoes into the mud room and put his keys on the counter.

He glanced at the glass and nodded before looking up to Jasper. “If it means a future, I can give you more time.”

Chapter Twenty

If Ryan hadn’t givenup on so many things already—his wrestling career, his faith in reuniting with Jasper, shaving with any regularity—he might have given up on this, too. But the carousel, which had finally been fixed by the capable and talented members of the only carousel restoration company within a thousand miles, deserved to shine. Especially when, through the lens of Ryan’s terrible mood, it felt like he might never return to this park. It was important to leave it looking as put together as possible.

Jasper didn’t have the time or money for frills like string lights hung through the trees surrounding the carousel. But Ryan did. Ryan had nothing but time, and the only other use he had for it was to think about what job he might want in the future and what on Earth he could possibly do for the next forty years without Jasper. Neither of those were a fun way to spend his time, one causing him unnecessary stress, the other causing the stitches in his heart to trail helplessly behind each new crack that formed by endless, inevitable run-ins with Jasper.

He almost laughed at himself over the melodrama of his mind, when Logan dropped a hammer on his foot and yelped.

Aiming to slowly toughen himself into something callused and unfeeling, he was microdosing irritation by spending more and more time with Logan. It was working so far, since he was currently on a very tall ladder with Logan down below, clumsily handing him bungee cords and zip ties and whatever else Ryan asked for. Ryan hadn’t sighed angrily in at least twenty minutes, despite his aching arms and sore back, and even managed to ignore Logan’s ten-minute phone conversation—on speaker phone—about his friend’s band’s latest tour drama.

He was pretty sure that meant his plan was working.

“I’m almost done with this tree,” Ryan shouted down to Logan. There was no response, so Ryan braved a look towards the ground and found Logan scrolling through his phone with one hand resting lazily over the fourth rung of the ladder. “Hey!”

Logan’s eyes shot up to meet Ryan’s before he slipped his phone in his pocket. “Sorry!”

“Can you focus, please? If I fall on you, you’ll die.”

Unsurprisingly, Logan laughed. He was always laughing about something, a trait in people Ryan often found charming—but not when his life was in their hands. Like right now.

“You’re so uptight about ladders,” Logan shouted towards the treetops.

“Yeah, dude. I’m eleven feet off the ground on a ladder not made for this use. Why would I not be uptight about this?”

Logan flailed his arms dramatically, shifting his feet to look unsteady. “Whoa! Watch out! I’m gonna fall!”

“Logan, I swear to God.”

“Oh no, a tree root!”

“I will drop this on you,” Ryan said, holding up a hammer.

Logan let out another belly laugh and placed both hands on the ladder. “I’m just kidding. I’ll hold on, just for you.”