Page 6 of Ring Rust

But still, there was no way Jasper meant it. Was there? It almost sounded like a joke. They’d called each other husbands for years, told anyone who asked that they were married, but they’d never bothered to make it legal. That tiny detail didn’t protect him now. It didn’t stop the word divorce from landing like a missile to his heart.

“That’s not funny,” Ryan said.

“It’s not supposed to be.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ryan brought his hand to his mouth, the juice covering his chin and dripping down his wrist. “Ugh.”

Jasper wetted a towel in the sink and handed it to Ryan, who used it to wipe his face and now trembling hands.

“I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t want this anymore,” Jasper said, gesturing between them. “I haven’t, for a while, but I was willing to try a little longer. And I did.”

“I’m sorry, I—” Ryan walked to the table and sat down, worried if he didn’t, his knees would give out. “Back up, please.” It came out more tersely than he’d intended, but he was just so confused.

“I just don’t want to do this anymore,” Jasper said, finally looking up to meet Ryan’s eyes.

Ryan almost wished he hadn’t, because Jasper’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears. If he blinked, they’d escape and spill down his cheeks. If Jasper didn’t cry, there was still a chance he was kidding.

“You don’t want to do what anymore? If this is about breakfast, I can just make it again,” Ryan said. He knew it was stupid. It wasn’t about the breakfast, but he couldn’t accept anything else.

“It has nothing to do with breakfast.”

“Then what? I don’t understand. Can you just tell me what the hell is going on?”

Jasper shrugged. “If you really have no idea why I’d want this, I don’t know how to help you.”

Ryan put his head in his hands. He wanted to understand, if for no other reason than it might keep Jasper from walking out, but he just… didn’t.

“I think once you get used to the idea, you’ll agree this is for the best. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to hurt anymore, either. You get that, right?” When Ryan said nothing, Jasper continued. “I’m going to Stevie’s. I already have some bags packed.”

Ryan was frozen, his body refusing to move even though he was terrified of what would happen if, or when, Jasper left. Ryan looked up and felt another gut punch—Jasperhadpacked bags, and they were already by the door. He could barely breathe as Jasper moved across the kitchen towards them.

“I… okay, wait. Jasper. Hold on,” he said. He shook his head once, hard, like maybe he could dislodge the words that were stuck. It didn’t work. “Fuck. Just… wait a second, please. I’m trying to?—”

Jasper’s hand lifted and rested on the door handle. He turned around and looked at Ryan, sighing.

“You can’t just do this out of nowhere!” Ryan shouted, his voice finally catching up.

“It’s not out of nowhere.”

“It feels like it to me.” Ryan choked out a sad laugh. “I burned the bacon and spilled the orange juice. You want a divorce because I’m out of practice? I can’t think of any other reason you’d want to leave me. It’s not…” His voice broke and his chest tightened. “Are you serious?”

Jasper’s jaw worked, flexing, but he stayed quiet. His eyes trailed to the counter, locking on a blue velvet ribbon. Heblinked. A tear fell. Ryan’s stomach dropped when he followed Jasper’s line of sight.

A silver medal, for the miniatures competition Jasper had entered. The one he’d asked Ryan to attend, since he’d missed so many over the years and was finally home. Jasper must have won second place, and Ryan had missed it because Micah asked him to go out for drinks to discuss some CWA drama.

Ryan’s hands flew to his head, fingers grasping at his hair. “Oh, fuck, possum–”

Jasper scoffed. “I’m not your possum.”

“I missed your competition.”

“Yeah, you missed my competition.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? You were acting fine last night!” Ryan said. And he had been fine, as far as Ryan could tell. Jasper had been happy to see him when he got home from drinks with Micah. They’d had sex. Maybe it was a bit lackluster, but Jasper still got off. Maybe Ryan should have done more? But he was tired and tipsy, and Jasper had been a little short with him. Retirement was fucking with him emotionally, so he couldn’t get hard, but that wasn’t because of Jasper.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“This is news to me.”