Page 37 of Ring Rust

Ryan and Winnie left the room, the door to her bedroom closing halfway, leaving just enough space for Jasper to stare at the opening, trying to catch a glimpse of Ryan. For what, he wasn’t sure.

“So, uh. You guys share a niece?” Shawn asked.

“Yeah, um. So, funny story, Ryan and I used to be together.”

Shawn’s eyebrows raised. “Together?”

Jasper bit his lip before continuing. “Yeah. Like, husbands. Not legally, but fifteen years is fifteen years. It’s… We ended things a couple months ago because?—"

“Fifteenyears?”

“Well, no, fourteen. Almost fifteen. Would have been fifteen, in about a month,” Jasper said, grabbing a cheese cube. “But he… I… Well, he was just gonesomuch, and I?—”

Shawn rubbed his face before putting his hand up to stop Jasper’s rambling. “Stop. You don’t need to explain anything to me. That explains why you both got a little weird.”

“It does?”

“Well, hopefully. It explains why you’ve made eye contact with me exactly twice tonight, and I’d like to think you’re not this big of a buzzkill when you’re not torn up about your ex.”

“I’m not torn up about?—”

“But also, it’s weird you didn’t mention I was going to be used as some sort of pawn. It’s also weird Stevie didn’t mention you’re just out of a relationship, since I told her I was divorced and looking to date,” Shawn said. The lightness had drained from his voice completely. “It’s snowy and cold so I’ll still take you home, but I think that’s about it. Well, unless you want to hook up later. But emotionally… you are a mess.” His eyes flicked to the wine stain on Jasper’s sweater. “I’m too old to get involved in this sort of thing long term.”

“I’m not—” Jasper started again, but he couldn’t find any ending to that sentence that was both truthful and not humiliating. “No, yeah. That’s fair. It’s probably not fun to attend a Christmas party with a guy who hasn’t figured out how to be normal around his ex. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Okay, thanks.”

They looked at each other sympathetically, just for a moment as something soft passed between them. Then, Jasper spotted a slight strain along the edge of Shawn’s mouth, holding back a smile. Jasper broke first, letting out a bark of laughter that set Shawn off too.

“Hey, Terrance is cute, huh?” Jasper said, nudging Shawn’s arm.

Shawn shrugged one shoulder. “Sure. And he did seem abnormally interested in the history of mulling spices.”

Winnie was showingRyan her schedule for spring term, and he was doing his best to pay attention, but if he stood at the exact right angle, he could see Jasper standing by the cheese table. He was looking at cheese, talking to Shawn and Terrance,laughing.

Ryan was so focused he didn’t even notice Winnie had stopped talking until she sighed loud enough for him to look up.

“Stop staring at him, creep.”

Ryan scoffed. “I’m not a creep. I’m just making sure he’s okay. With Shawn.”

“Right. Making sure he’s okay with the sweetest guy at the party. Noble of you.”

“What? I’m not allowed to care about him anymore?”

Winnie rolled her eyes. “You want to know why I don’t want a relationship? Stuff like this. Look at yourself! Pull yourself together, man.”

Ryan glanced down at his outfit—a tasteful forest green sweater and black jeans, new boots Beni helped him pick out. “What’s wrong with my look?”

“Oh my God.” She sat on the edge of her bed and sighed.

Ryan took one more look through the door. Shawn and Jasper looked more relaxed than they had all night, and it churned in his stomach like lava. It was bad enough to be in the same room as them when it was clear Jasper was miserable. This was different, and worse.

“It just feels shitty,” he said. He wasn’t sure why he was talking to Winnie about this. She was sixteen, not exactly someone who could offer him the gift of experience orunderstanding. But she was a good kid. Empathetic. She’d probably pity him, if nothing else. That might be nice.

“Yeah, of course it does. But that’s what happens when you refuse to stop seeing him. Have you thought about not seeing him anymore?”

“How could I? We’d have to schedule holidays, vacations, family events. And… I don’t know, I’d rather see him on a date with someone else than never see him again.” The thought turned his stomach. “I just wish he hadn’t brought himhere.The Christmas party is sacred! We metat your mom’s Christmas party. And he left me, so he owes me that.”