Page 36 of Ring Rust

Jasper sighed and rubbed at his eyes, pressing them hard enough to see stars. “Ugh. I’m not trying to be. He didn’t do anything.”

“I didn’t think so. So why are you being mean to him?”

Jasper turned around and stared at her. Stevie was unbelievable—he had never wanted to go out with Shawn in the first place, but she’d harped on it for days after he asked forShawn’s number, offering the party as a good place for them to get to know each other. In hindsight, not a great plan, but he was upset about Ryan getting someone else’s number, and he wasn’t thinking straight.

“I’m not beingmeanto him,” he said.

“Well, you’re not being particularly nice.”

“I’m being cordial. But I told you I didn’t want to date anybody, and I get the feeling he thinks this is a date. Ryan and I broke up two months ago and you’re setting me up with your handsome, boring coworker.”

“Shawn isn’t boring. He’s like a walking encyclopedia! And he’s sweet. And cute.”

Jasper’s mouth turned down into a half scowl. “I don’twanta sweet, cute, walking encyclopedia.”

“Well, whatdoyou want? It seems like you just want to be angry with Ryan at the expense of everybody else.”

There wasn’t anything Jasper could say in his defense—that was accurate, at least on some level. But he didn’t want to get into it with Stevie, not if it meant being stuck in the bedroom while Ryan was out there somewhere, with a date.

If Stevie knew how much he’d realized he missed Ryan after years of saying he barely knew him anymore, he’d never hear the end of it. But the reality was, he did miss Ryan. And now that Ryan was always around, pointing at cheeses during Christmas parties, doing thankless work on the theme park, or sending him photos of wildlife with misspelled, handwritten speech bubbles because he was theoppositeof a walking encyclopedia, it was even worse than it was when they’d first split up.

When Jasper ended things, he’d felt like he was being assertive, standing up for himself. Now, it was that he couldn’t get over the still-open wounds from the last several years, held back by being face-to-face with the Ryan he fell in love with fifteen years ago. It was a much harder place to be.

Jasper shoved past Stevie, ignoring her hushed attempts to get him to go back to the bedroom. The party was still going, which was a relief—part of him worried he’d made such a scene with the wine that his return to the living room would invite well deserved glances from every party guest. But as it turned out, nobody gave a shit that he was back.

Not even Shawn, who was standing with Terrance and… Ryan? They were all smiling and laughing at a cheese cube Ryan was holding.

Ryan loved cheese cubes. Especially cheese cubes with thin threads of blue mold woven throughout, the presence of which, based on hand gestures and a conversation Jasper caught the tail end of, were being explained by Shawn.

Jasper approached them, and Ryan glanced up. His smile fell so dramatically that Shawn’s eyes bounced from Ryan’s face to Jasper’s and back again before he opened his mouth. “Um… is everything okay?” he asked.

“Jasper,” Ryan breathed. “Hi.”

“Hi, Ryan. I see you’ve met Shawn.”

Shawn smiled at Ryan, and they both seemed to relax.

“I have met Shawn. He’s teaching me about blue cheese. Did you know the mold in blue cheese is the exact same mold they use to make penicillin, the medicine?”

“Well, not theexactsame mold. They’re the same genus, but different species,” Shawn said.

“Same genus, though, so pretty close,” Ryan said, smiling to himself while he twisted the toothpick between his fingers, spinning the cheese slowly.

It made Jasper’s heart ache. Ryan loved being a little bit right just as much as he loved being completely right.

“That’s right,” Shawn said, patting Ryan on the shoulder. “You got it.”

Jasper pursed his lips so tightly they nearly disappeared, and he was about to physically remove Shawn’s fingers from Ryan’s shoulder when a familiar voice called out from behind him.

“Uncle Ryan!”

“Winnie!” Ryan opened his arms. She ran towards him, letting him wrap her up in a hug. “I wondered where you were. How’s junior year going? Any colleges catch your eye? Any guys catch your eye?”

“Please,” she said, shaking her head. “College, yes, I’ll start looking soon. Guys? No thank you. Once you talk to the men of the world about their endless failings, I might reconsider.”

Ryan laughed and elbowed Shawn, and Jasper’s eyes locked on the point of Shawn’s arm, probably still warm from Ryan’s touch. He let himself scowl openly, and Shawn took a step back. Ryan, surprising Jasper with his understanding, looked to Jasper and scowled right back.

“Shawn, it’s been nice meeting you. I hope you and Jasper have a great night together. But for now, I’m going to chat with Winnie, here. Jasper may get to seeour niecepretty often, but I’ve had a more complicated schedule.”