Page 33 of Ring Rust

“Careful,” Jasper said, picking up the wreath and several of the pine needles that fell off.

“Sorry.” Ryan looked at him with a small, hopeful smile, but Jasper was in no mood.

“Hey, little bro! Come into the kitchen and put that stuff away, will you?” Beni called.

Ryan gave a short nod in Jasper’s direction, pausing briefly, perhaps waiting for Jasper to react in some preferred way, or maybe just at all.

He didn’t. He looked at the ground and waited for Ryan to turn away, then watched him walk off, trying—and failing—not to notice the shape of his changing body. In a cruel twist, Jasper liked it even more than he’d liked Ryan’s peak-performance body.

He’d softened lately. Not dramatically, but enough for Jasper to notice. Then again, Jasper noticed everything about Ryan. He always had. Even now, when looking at Ryan for too long felt like pressing on an aging bruise, Jasper’s attention to him was automatic. His heart turned towards him the way a sunflower tracked the sun, entirely against his will.

Physically, at least, this was the Ryan Jasper had fallen in love with. Everyone else preferred the version from magazine covers and championship posters—sharp lines, spray tans, tailored suits, visible strength. Jasper preferred this one. A little softer around the edges, carrying groceries into a party and holding a bag out while everyone dug through it. The one Jasper had wanted back.

“Jasper?” Stevie said. “Hello?”

Jasper blinked and turned to his sister, frowning involuntarily. “Sorry. Got distracted for a second.”

“I noticed.” She patted his arm. “Do you want to help me with the basement? I want to clear out a spot for the kids to hang out.”

He nodded and followed her down the stairs. As he passed the kitchen, he heard Ryan and Beni laughing about something.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Stevie said. The way she said it, laced with preemptive pity and sadness, made Jasper’s hackles rise.

“What?”

“There’s someone at work—” she said.

“No.”

“Wait, hear me out! His name is Shawn. He’s really sweet, really nerdy. You guys have a lot in common.”

“I’m not ready to date yet. Ryan and I haven’t even figured out what we’re doing with the house. We haven’t figured out… anything. I don’t know if I ever want to date again. It’s too soon, Stevie.”

“You don’t have to date him!” Stevie said. “I just thought maybe you’d want to meet him. He’s also divorced, and he might be a good person to talk to.”

“I’m not interested. I don’t need friends.”

“Nice. Healthy!”

Jasper looked up from the box he was digging through and glared. “I have friends, is what I meant.”

“One more wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Fine. Maybe. As a friend.” Maybe it would help to talk to someone who knew what he was going through. Probably not, but he could try.

Stevie nodded and handed Jasper a box containing serving platters and spoons. “Take that to the kitchen. I’ll be up in a second with a few more things.”

The top of Stevie’s basement stairs ended on a landing right outside the kitchen, where Jasper could see Ryan and Beni leaning against the counter. Beni had her phone in her hand, swiping through photos Jasper couldn’t see. He stayed put, hoping to hear their conversation, but their voices didn’tcarry enough. He heard a few scattered words.Coworker, nice, phone number.Similar words to those that Stevie had used just seconds ago down in the basement.

Ryan’s head dropped into a subtle, disappointed nod, which filled Jasper with an initial feeling of relief. Like maybe Ryan wasn’t ready to date either, trying to figure out how to get out of his less-understanding sister’s setup. But then Beni laughed and elbowed him. Her too-loud voice finally came through clearly, saying, “Just call him. Meet him once or twice, it won’t hurt anything. I think he’d be good for you.”

What relief he’d felt moments earlier was gone in an instant. In Jasper’s mind, it was one thing forhimto move on—he’d already felt abandoned by Ryan, had time to grieve. But Ryan, even days earlier, had made Jasper think he missed him. Jasper had let the petty satisfaction warm parts of him he wasn’t proud of. But now, if Jasper’s suspicions were correct, Ryan was agreeing to a date proposed by Beni. To bring someone to the party they’d all be attending on Saturday.

Ryan looked up when he heard Jasper shuffling his feet by the door. He swiped at an eye and cleared his throat. He smiled gently and reached for the box Jasper was holding. “Need help?”

“No, I’ve got it.” Jasper placed the box on the counter and put his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you later, Beni.”

Ryan sighed, the sound of it making Jasper’s fingernails dig into his palms.