Page 27 of Ring Rust

“I can stay in the guest room tonight and we can do it in the morning, if you want help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“What do you mean? How are you going to do it alone?”

“Who said I was doing it alone?” Jasper asked, lifting himself from the car, hoping the walk to the house would give him enough time to think of an answer to Ryan’s inevitable follow up questions.

“Who’s helping you?” Ryan asked, following close behind.

Jasper didn’t turn to look at him, just wiggled the key in the lock until the door finally opened. “Just someone I know.”

“Jasper. Are youtryingto be difficult?”

“Yes,” Jasper said, smiling. His face softened as he stepped inside. “Thank you for the ride, Ryan. I’m serious. I appreciate it.”

“I don’t care if things are hard between us right now, you should have called me.”

Jasper gave a slight nod. “Yeah, probably.”

He stared at Ryan, who still hadn’t crossed the threshold, probably assuming Jasper wouldn’t allow it. And when they’d pulled up to the house, that had been the plan. But now Ryanwas damp from melting snow, driving his very nice car, and exhausted with bags under his eyes from what Jasper assumed was lack of sleep. As irritated as he’d been at Ryan’s refusal to give him the space he’d requested, sending him into the unknown and risking his safety wasn’t an option.

He sighed. “Come in.”

“Okay. Thank you. It is cold out here.”

Ignoring the immediate brightness on Ryan’s face, Jasper only said, “Yes, it is.”

He took his time walking to the bedroom and changing into something warm and dry. Without thinking, he picked up a pair of sweats and a dry shirt from the pile of Ryan’s clothes he’d been putting together. He put them down, considering whether it was too domestic and familiar to offer them, and after a bit of back and forth of picking them up and putting them down, he decided to leave them on the chair.

When he returned to the kitchen, he found Ryan still standing in the mud room directly inside the front door. He still had his shoes on. His coat was still zipped. The only change he’d made was removing the beanie from his head, which he was twisting between his fingers in front of his chest.

“Come in, I said.”

“Okay. I didn’t know if you, um.” Ryan took his coat off. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

His boots came off next. Jasper watched Ryan place them on the shoe rack and his body stiffened. For years, he’d wanted those shoes gone. He’d despised them and how they never moved because Ryan was never home. Seeing them again now, after weeks of being missing, was like reopening the same scab of grief that never seemed to stay closed. He swallowed downwhatever words were trying to work their way out and moved back to the kitchen to pour himself a drink.

“Could I get one of those?” Ryan asked, pointing at the liquor Jasper had in his hand.

“Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

After pouring Ryan his own drink, they made their way into the living room. Ryan was stiff, hovering by the couch and biting his lip, refusing to look at Jasper directly. Jasper would blame the alcohol tomorrow, but for now, he encouraged Ryan to sit down on the loveseat and took the seat next to him, tucking one leg under his body.

“Relax,” Jasper said.

Ryan nodded and swallowed half his drink. “This is good. What is it?”

Jasper took a sip to buy some time. The truth was, he’d been given the bottle by a couple of old teacher friends who were sick of listening to him complain about Ryan’s schedule. They’d bought it for him as a joke—a congratulations-for-finally-walking-away gift. Jasper had laughed, promised them they were being ridiculous, and tucked it away in the bar cart.

But every so often, he’d see it sitting there and wonder if they’d been right. If maybe everyone else had already seen where his life was headed before he was willing to admit it to himself.

He’d finally opened it a couple weeks ago. But, of course, that was all too mean to admit, especially after Ryan had rescued him.

“Dunno. Just found it on the bar.”