Page 24 of Ring Rust

“I can see that,” Craig said, sipping his soda. “It’s important to make our loved ones feel like they matter.”

Jasper huffed. “Yeah.”

“Take Jessica and me, for example,” Craig continued. “Right now, I’m driving an hour each way to and from work. We’ve got a baby at home. We live with my in-laws, so you can imagine how she’s feeling.”

He couldn’t, really, but people usually liked their kids. “Good?”

Craig laughed. “No. Well, I hope she feels that way now. But she’s also been feeling a little bored and lonely.”

Jasper took a sip of his beer, unsure what the right reaction was.

“She told me a few weeks ago she was feeling a little… neglected. And at first, I was thinking, hey,I’mthe one who’s driving ten plus hours a week. I’m the one who has no time withthe baby. I’m the one who has to spend all my free time with myin-laws.”

“Uh huh.”

“But then I got my head out of my ass and reminded myself, this is a rough time for both of us. I felt terrible that she’d been feeling hurt for weeks and hadn’t mentioned it,” Craig said.

“That was the first time she’d said anything?”

“That I can remember, yeah. And I feel worse knowing she didn’t talk to me about it than whether I technically did anything wrong. You know what I mean?”

Jasper thought back on all the conversations he’d had with Ryan over the years—every time he brought up being lonely, missing him, or wishing for something else, their conversations turned to Ryan’s contracts and schedules and how much longer Jasper had to just hold on. Jasper had always just smiled and nodded, because what else could he do? It was hard to tell the person he loved, the person who loved him, to give up his dreams to fix his loneliness. But Ryan never once looked at Jasper and asked what he needed, and nothing ever got better.

“I do know what you mean,” Jasper said.

“Sorry, this is probably TMI. You don’t need all the details of my personal life.”

“No, it’s fine. I started it. Helps to hear from other people, I guess. Even if you and Ryan are nothing alike.” He drained another mouthful of beer and stared at the label. Craig hadn't said anything particularly profound, but it still made Jasper feel a bit vindicated. He took another sip of his drink, then another, and eventually stood.

“You okay?”

“Do you want another beer?” Jasper asked.

Craig shook his head. “Not right now, thanks.”

After another forty-five minutes, Jasper was several beers deep and still, humiliatingly, venting about Ryan. Inside, he wasscreaming at himself to shut the fuck up. He was embarrassing himself and irritating his new friend with unhinged rants about someone the guy had never met. But it had been so long since he’d hung out with someone who didn’t know and love and respect Ryan, or even just someone who didn’t enjoy the perks that came with Ryan’s friendship.

Jasper leaned forward and started up again. By now, even he could hear the slurring. “And I’m sorry, but I am not the bad guy here.”

Craig nodded and drank the last of his soda. The same soda he’d ordered an hour ago after hisonebeer, which, compared to Jasper’s four beers, was not very much beer at all. But Jasper didn’t care if he’d had too much beer, because it was Friday and he had nothing going on the following day, and he wanted to drink a lot of beer and be mad at Ryan. Craig had to drive all the way home to Worcester, but that wasn’t Jasper’s problem.

Jasper’s problem was that he had to get home to Pelham, which was a short drive from Amherst. But, considering he was in no condition to get behind the wheel, he’d decided one beer ago to get there on foot, and currently saw no issues with this plan.

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I like working with you and having drinks with you, even when you told me we would be eating dinner. But I don’t know your relationship, so I’m not sure my thoughts on it are particularly helpful.”

“You don’t know mypastrelationship,” Jasper corrected.

“Right. Well, either way, based on what you’ve said here, Ryan seems like a piece of shit. But he’s not here to defend himself. How do I know you weren’t a pain in the ass to be married to?” Craig said, grinning. “What if I said that wouldn’t surprise me?”

Jasper narrowed his eyes and pointed his beer across the table. “I was not.”

Craig laughed. “I believe you.”

“Good. Because I wasn’t.”

“Okay, well, that’s good.”

“Good.”