Page 69 of Faithless Vows

“I love you,” I say. “I need you to know that. I always have.”

She flinches like I’ve hit her.

And then, like the complete bastard I keep proving myself to be, I kiss her. Not gently or tenderly. Desperately, like I can grab hold of what we used to have and force life back into it. My hand goes into her hair, the other still gripping her arm, and she freezes in shock.

She shoves at my chest, trying to push me off her. “Don’t—” The word breaks against my mouth. A sob shudders through her, and I feel her tears wet against my cheeks. She gives one last hard shove, and when I still don’t let go, she bites down on my lip hard enough that I taste blood.

Still, I don’t stop.

The cabin door slams open, and Conor storms in. “What the fuck are you doing?!” He’s on me before I’ve fully turned. One hand fists in my shirt and yanks me back from Alannah, then his other fist slams into my gut. The air explodes out of me. He hauls me back up and slams me against the wall, screaming right in my face. “You’re fucking done!”

I hear him. I just can’t make myself care. Because behind him, Alannah is sobbing, each raw, broken sound tearing into me. Declan has her wrapped tight in his arms, holding her up like she’d collapse without him, her face buried in his chest, her shoulders shaking hard.I did that.

I’m still staring at her when Conor grabs me by the arm and the back of my shirt, wrenches me around, and forces me through the door. He keeps hold of me as he drags me up through the boat, Alannah’s cries following me the whole way.

The men on deck glance up as we pass, then quickly look away. At the gangway, the runner who letme on is still standing there, pale and refusing to meet my eye. Conor claps him on the back. “Good man.” Then he shoves me past him and off the boat.

Malachy is waiting beside his car, parked in the same spot as when I first arrived. Same calm, watchful posture. Like he’d had this whole thing planned from the minute I set foot on this island, and all I’d done was play right into his hands.

He straightens when he sees us coming and opens the back door. By the time we reach the car, I’ve got nothing left. My legs are barely working, and Conor has to drag me the last few steps. He shoves me into the back seat hard enough to send pain flashing white behind my eyes, then climbs in after me and slams the door.

Malachy huffs out a short, humourless laugh. I look up and catch his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Still a stupid lad,” he says.

I turn in my seat and find Alannah standing on the quay, her arms wrapped tight around her middle as she watches us pull away. Declan waits beside another car a few feet behind her, but she makes no move to join him. I keep looking back until the road curves away from the harbour and she disappears from sight.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Alannah

I stand on the quay and watch Grandda’s car pull away with Ronin in the back. The same thought keeps coming back: what would have happened if they hadn’t found me in time? If the boat had left the harbour with me on it. If Uncle Conor and Declan hadn’t come through that cabin door when they did. The wind cuts in off the water, cold and bitter. All I can do is watch the red taillights grow smaller, taking him farther away.

Who was that?

I’ve never seen Ronin like that before. Angry, yes. Proud. Cold. Cruel, even. But not like that. Not wild-eyed and desperate, dragging me across the snow with his hand over my mouth, talking like I still belonged to him after everything he’d done. I loved him for years, and even now, part of me can’t make that man fit with the one I thought I knew.

A hand touches my shoulder, and I startle. “Sorry, Lannie,” Declan says quietly. When I look up, his face is pale, his jaw tight. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

The drive home is quiet. I keep my eyes on the road, my thumb moving over the bracelet at my wrist without me even realizing it. Declan says nothing beside me. When he stops outside the house, the windows are lit and I can see people moving inside. My whole family, probably worried sick by now. Declan comes around and opens my door. “Best get in before Grandmam comes out after us,” he says, offering me his hand.

The house is warm when Declan brings me in, bright with firelight and too many voices at once. AuntMaeve is at the stove, and Róisín is pushing back from the table the second she sees me. She takes my arm from Declan and guides me into a chair. Then Grandmam is there, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before setting a cup of tea in front of me.

I don’t know how long I sit there staring down at my tea before I remember Finn.Where is he?Panic rushes through me, and I stand too quickly. The room tips, and Róisín catches my elbow before I can stumble. “Finn,” I manage, turning to her. “Is he all right?”

“Aye.” She guides me back into the chair, keeping a hand on my arm. “I spoke with Catríona. She said he’s a bit battered, but he’s all right. He insisted on seeing you, so she’s bringing him over now.” A tired little smile touches her mouth. “Though with the way Catríona drives, he may be regretting that decision by now.”

The breath I didn’t know I was holding leaves me in a rush, and I sag back into the chair. Róisín slips an arm around my shoulders. “He’s all right,” she says again, close to my ear. “He’ll be here soon.”

Grandmam sets a bowl of stew in front of me and nudges it closer. “Eat, pet,” she says. “Just a bit.”

My stomach turns, but I manage a few spoonfuls so Grandmam won’t fuss. I’ve just set the spoon down when the back door opens. Before I can look up, Catríona’s arms come around me from behind, squeezing tight, and every ache from being grabbed and hauled around by Ronin makes itself known at once. I hiss in pain.

“Easy, easy,” Catríona murmurs, and the pressure eases as she lets me go. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” She comes around and sits beside me. “Sorry it took us a bit. Finn’s an awful nagger any time I’m behind the wheel.”

“I’m not a nagger,” Finn says, and when I look over, he drops into the chair across from me. “You’re a terror behind the wheel.”

Catríona sniffs. “And yet you’re alive.”

That’s when I really look at him. A square of gauze is taped over his temple, bruising already spreading around it anddown the side of his face. My stomach twists. “Finn…” I swallow. “Are you all right?”