Page 53 of When the Universe Sings

CHAPTER

THIRTY-SIX

Kal waitedat the ramp of the industrial cruiser, a bundle of black fabric in his arms. Greabes stood beside him, holding a pair of boots that looked too small for either of the males.

“Figured you might not want to journey back in that getup.” Greabes gestured vaguely to my gown and aching feet.

My throat burned but I swallowed it back and nodded. The ghost of Asher’s body was still burned into mine, pulsing with each breath I took. A hollow pang rattled through my chest at the memory of him watching me go. I wished he’d argued or pushed me to stay.

Kal searched my face, but I knew he would find nothing. Even still, his eyes narrowed, scarred lips pressing into a thin line. There shouldn’t have been relief in seeing Kal, not after so many cycles away from him. It shouldn’t have felt like a piece of my past was restored; my long-lost brother returned. It was a dangerous thought and an even more treacherous feeling. And yet after cycles and cycles of hiding deep within myself, Kal had somehow wormed his way in—or perhaps he’d merely followed the path back.

“Window’s closing,” Hudzon rumbled from the top of the ramp.

They waited for me to ascend first, Kal’s hand hovering around my elbow as he disapprovingly watched each step of my ridiculous heels. “Here, take these. There’s a storage closet there you can change in.”

I opened the automatic door he gestured to, pressing the bundle of clothes to my chest as I stepped through, strip lights flickering on with the motion sensor. The clothes in my arms were mine: the dark leggings, tunic, and the cowl I’d worn when we’d gone to Keva Um’plem. As I slipped off the gemstone-studded shawl and gown, I didn’t know if I would ever want to wear such things again. Maybe I’d give them to Zoleka. I folded the gown and shawl neatly, piling the shoes on top of the stones, and padded out to the cockpit.

Kal took the clothes from me, sliding them into a bag hooked to one wall. He didn’t say anything, only gestured to the chair with the boots—my boots—set on top. I sat, lacing them up before working on the buckles of the seat.

“Here.” Rhiaon’s hand came into view, holding a phial of thick greenish liquid. “Antidote.”

I took the phial with trembling fingertips and whispered a soft “thank you” before shooting it back. It was thick, sickly sweet with a burning acidic aftertaste that made me cough. They offered me a cup of water next and I choked it down before they wandered back to the med cabinet beside the copilot seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kal murmured.

“Does shelooklike she wants to talk about it, Crux? Leave her alone,” Greabes snapped. “Engage thrusters.”

“Thrusters engaging,” Hudzon confirmed.

While the engines revved and they went through their final flight checks, Kal watched me. I stared resolutely at the blinking lights on the dash, counting each green light, feeling the brush of my thumb against my fingertips. The antidote slithered through my system, eating the last of the buzzing heat away. The ghost of Asher disappeared with it, but it couldn’t wipe the memory from my mind. The feel of his breath across my face, his sighs undistorted and ghosting across my cheeks, his deep rumbling voice.

I know what you need, sweetheart.

What we had done was a betrayal, not just of the memory of my people, regardless of the fact he had saved some lives, but also of Lunastra. I was here on a mission to subvert his plans and ensure they failed. The question was there on the tip of my tongue—surely Hudzon or Greabes would know the truth of what Asher would do with the stone once found. Unless Asher kept them as in the dark as the rest of us.

Another mask, another lie, another smooth vibration to pacify us.

What I hated most was I couldn’t completely blame thelagneiafor my actions. Especially when I remembered the look on his blood-splattered face and my core ached with the memory. Perhaps the attraction had started in those small, faraway moments where he’d showed just a small bit of kindness and I’d eaten it up as a leaf soaked up the suns.

But they had meant nothing. They were merely empty words and empty moments.

We slipped through the hangar and I closed my eyes for fear of seeing the glittering sea, the shining crystal, and the reminder of what had taken place on this planet. I didn’t open them again until I felt the telltale shift into free space and blinked up at the darkness spread out before us.

By the time we reached theKuxatanaI’d counted twelve hundred and sixty-two breaths. Twenty-three green buttons on the dash, six red, and forty-eight yellow. There were six jumpseats in the cockpit with three straps to a chair.

And I felt nothing.

…

Asher landed aboard theKuxatanaa few hours later.

It was Kal who came to my rooms and told me Asher was calling for a meeting in the mess. I nodded mutely and followed him through each twist and turn in the familiar ship to where the rest of the crew waited. Zoleka’s smile was wide as we entered, but it fractured after a moment.

I took the seat beside her, Kal on my other, and stared at the shiny tabletop. Others filed into the room, chairs dragging across the floor as they dropped into their seats with huffs. But I knew Asher was there—would have known even if the sound of his respirator wasn’t ringing in my ears. It was something about his scent, or maybe his presence, as if he stood beside me with his hand on my back instead of at the head of the table.

“As most of you have probably heard by now, the stone was smuggled off planet.” His voice was cold, the same tone he’d used when he interrogated me on theDaskquah.

“Do we know where it went?” Zoleka asked, tapping a nail on the table.