Page 45 of When the Universe Sings

“You wear your mask to sleep?”

Asher lowered himself onto one pillow, adjusting the sheets around his bare torso—I refused to look—and then folded an arm behind his head. When he didn’t answer, I rolled my eyes and turned away, fighting with the fluffy sheets before finally pushing them down to my waist.

It was quiet for a long time, the darkness of the night curling around us like another being in the room. I kept listening for Asher’s breathing to even out or some sign he had fallen asleep. In the interim, I thought of everything we had and had not learned tonight. There were at least two other parties attempting to infiltrate Phyenix’s estate. One had been apprehended but that left another still at large. But even as I flipped through each guest I’d seen, I couldn’t pick one candidate who was more likely to be a thief than another. Not with the jealousy and greed that threaded through the night like a poison.

“You have not deserved my cruelty.”

The words were soft, soft enough I wondered for a moment if I’d imagined them. But Asher’s exhale was unmistakable and the bed shifted in a way that made me think he’d rolled to face me again.

“Someday I’ll explain everything,” he promised in barely a whisper. “Someday you will understand and I…I can atone for every wrong, every hurt, every slice of pain I have brought you in your life.”

I blinked at the arched window, unable to understand the mess of waves and reflection on the water. His words made no sense and no matter how I tried to examine them, I could not find meaning. Unless his betrayal went deeper than the cruelty he referred to—his bitter words and recriminations, his distrust when I’d joined the ship, even his coldness when we’d prepared to leave. “Did you kill my family?”

Asher’s sharp breath made me wonder if he’d thought I was asleep. I turned over, tugging the strange fluffy pillow tighter around me, and searched the top half of his face. A shaft of moonlight cast his expression in a purplish silver and there was so much grief there it made my throat ache.

“No, Juniper. I didn’t kill your family.”

My knuckles turned white on the pillow. “How do you know?”

That furrow formed again between his brows and his hand lifted, reaching through the space between us before falling onto the mattress, only to be swallowed by the ridiculous sheets. “Because I didn’t kill anyone on Selhveina who wasn’t already on the ground. I never went into the canopy.”

I could only stare at him, attempting to catalog the expression on his face and parse out if he was lying. He didn’t appear to be, not from the stricken look in his eyes and the hand that tensed as if he was stopping himself from moving closer.

“Do you know who did?” My eyes closed at the break in my voice, at the cycles’ worth of grief clawing through my shredded chest.

His fingertips brushed my arm, sliding over the raised brand, and it looked like my grief was reflected on his face. “I have an idea of who it might have been, yes.”

Heat burned in the corners of my eyes and my throat clicked with a swallow. It took me two tries to speak, to ask the question that would damn me. “Where are they?”Where can I find them?Where can I get my revenge?

“They’re dead.”

My mouth opened and closed, the wordhowslipping from my lips. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to ask the full question. But he answered before I could even try.

I told myself I hated him for it as he assuaged my fears and fed my grief all at once. I told myself I would shove the quara blade in my case deep into his chest the moment we had the stone. I told myself I would revel in the light leaving his eyes.

But it was a lie. I knew it was a lie as his soft voice rumbled in the dark and a small bit of the ache smoothed away in my soul.

“Because I killed them all.”

CHAPTER

THIRTY-ONE

When I joltedawake screaming in the early hours of dawn, it was to find myself alone.

Asher reappeared right before Aristedes brought us an opulent breakfast with glittering jams and breads formed into flowers. They also pointed out a small pot of a substance they explained was crafted from the bile of insects who harvested pollen on the planet. I couldn’t say I wanted to try it, and the only reason it was on my plate was because Asher had slathered the viscous amber liquid onto one roll and put it there.

Since I’d woken, I’d retreated deep within myself where I knew I would be safe, trying to stoke the flames of anger that fell away with every breath I took. I wanted to hate Asher—Ineededto hate him. Each word he spoke was crafted to deceive the same way he crafted the smooth-talking persona I would see again today.

He stood at the door to the balcony Aristedes had opened, hands loose in the pockets of his dark trousers, the asymmetrical collar of his shirt unbuttoned. For once his hair was free, swirling back from his face in the sea breeze, his attention fixed on the churning water below. But every so often his silver eyes would slide to me and the plate in my lap I hunched over, blanket wrapped around my shoulders and hips to hide the frothy lingerie. Most of the food was too sweet for my tastes, almost sickly so. But then I wanted to laugh at the thought of having apalate. I was growing soft if I was starting to become picky about fuel.

Whatever it was Asher had been doing in the early hours of the morning, he didn’t offer me any sort of explanation. Nor did he eat the food laid out before us, not with the respirator firmly in place. I didn’t want to ask though, mainly because whatever he was doing was probably dangerous. Maybe he would double-cross me, or implicate me if things went sideways. I wanted to be as unaware as possible about his plans.

I caved and picked up the soft glistening roll he’d prepared for me. My eyes widened as a slightly acrid sweetness washed over my tongue, balanced with the savory bite of the bread. I ate the rest quickly, surprised that out of everything I’d tried, the thing he’d chosen was the best.

“Why don’t you start getting ready?” Asher murmured, the first words he’d spoken since last night.

The plate scraped against the low table as I put it down. Without a word I stood, dropping the blanket onto the couch, and turned toward my case nestled against the wall, only to realize it was empty.