Page 166 of Rite of Unity

I stopped in front of him, far enough that I couldn't touch him, slap him, beat my fists against his chest.

“I was taken.”My voice was low, steadier than I felt.“I was drugged and cuffed to a chair and questioned by the bureau.I thought I was going to die and you—” I stopped.Pressed my lips together.“Where were you?”

He pushed off the wall and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him.

His voice was low.“I didn’t know.”

His arms were tight, a shield against the rest of the world.

I didn't fight.

All the horror of these two weeks, of holding it alone, and now… possibly failure.It was too much.

I sank into Calden’s embrace, a weight pressing me closer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against my ear.“I was in Michigan City.My father needed me and I—” He stopped.“I didn’t know.I just heard Elias’s aide was executed.August did it himself.Attempted poisoning.”

I froze.

Micah was dead.They knew.I failed.

Calden kept talking, unaware that the floor had just dropped out from under me.“I would have been here.Damn the consequences.”

I stayed there a moment longer, my cheek against his shoulder.His heart was steady under my ear.In another life, this could have been enough.

But there was no other life.There was only this one, where Micah was dead, and I had to try again.I pressed against him, just for a second.A goodbye he would never know I was saying.

Then I shoved him away.

“You can’t be here.”

There was a rawness to his expression I couldn’t stand to look at.

He reached for me again, but I backed up, spinning around to grab the ribbon off the table.

“I don’t want you here.Leave.”

Silence behind me, but I could feel his eyes on me.Burning into my back.

“You don’t mean it.”

I tried and failed to re-tie my ribbon.“I do.”

My stomach was twisted in a knot, but I didn’t dare turn to look at him.“I have to get ready for Trial Ten.Go.”

He was silent so long, I might have thought he left if it wasn’t for the searing heat on my shoulder blades.

Then, a sharp intake of his breath.

“You pretended with me.You’re pretending with him.”His voice was colder than I’d ever heard it.“Is anything real for you?”

I spun around, the ribbon dangling off my wrist.“Who says I’m pretending with him?”

The scoff slid between his teeth like he’d eaten something sour.“You don’t love him.”

“He saved me from Covenant Security.”I held his gaze.“And he’s the president’s son.Who wouldn’t want that?”

Calden stiffened, genuine hurt flashing in his eyes.