Page 50 of The Secret Bookshop in Ireland

‘Thank you,’ Elaine said, her voice clipped. ‘I’ll get going on the broadband firms when I’ve rested. Let’s go, Ronan.’

‘All right,’ Ronan said and started to wheel Elaine away. He stopped for a moment at the exit and shot a look at Ciara that said more than a thousand words. It told her how much he cared for her and how desperately he wanted to act on it.

‘That lad is a little confused,’ Maureen said. Then she looked at Ciara. ‘And so are you, my poor darling.’

‘Oh, Ma,’ Ciara said. ‘It might not be so bad.’

‘I know,’ Maureen replied as they started to walk. ‘I have to tell you that I had a few words with Elaine about it all. I think you’ve misunderstood her completely.’

‘Oh no, Ma,’ Ciara exclaimed and stopped, staring at her mother. ‘What did you say?’

‘I just told her that maybe she should let Ronan off the leash and help him have a normal life. I said it was wrong to keep him tied to her to pay for his mistake.’

‘What did she say to that?’ Ciara asked, shocked by Maureen’s revelation.

‘She said she had forgiven him long ago.’ Maureen sighed. ‘But he hasn’t forgiven himself for causing the accident. Of course he did in a way. If he hadn’t looked at his phone at that moment, the crash wouldn’t have happened. But it was an accident and she knows that.’

‘Yes, I think that’s true,’ Ciara said. ‘I hope you didn’t accuse her of anything.’

‘Well,’ Maureen said, ‘I started to criticise her for forcing Ronan to look after her. And then I told her he might feel hatred and resentment at times when he watched young people of his own age having the freedom he does not.’ Maureen drew breath. ‘I said she would have a better relationship with him if she let him go.’

‘Oh no, Ma,’ Ciara said, appalled. ‘That must have upset her.’

‘I’m afraid it did,’ Maureen said, looking awkward. ‘But then she said that she understood that it would look like that to an outsider. He’s been blaming himself all along and felt he had to stay with her as her carer.’

‘I know,’ Ciara said. ‘I talked about it with Ronan and then I found out the truth. So we did misunderstand the situation. Elaine was never at fault at all. I’m glad she seemed to understand how we would have seen it. But she looked upset when she left.’

‘Yes, she was and I don’t blame her. I think she’ll be telling Ronan off when they get home. She still wants to help with the Internet connection for the bookshop, though,’ Maureen said. ‘Which was strange. I would have thought that she was too angry to have anything to do with us after what I said.’

‘Maybe she wants to be involved because it will give her something to do,’ Ciara suggested. ‘She seemed quite fit and healthy despite her disability.’

‘She does,’ Maureen agreed, walking faster towards the exit. ‘But now we have to get home and get weaving. We have to work hard if we’re to get this project off the ground.’

‘Yes, we do,’ Ciara said and fell into step with her mother. She knew she would have to break the news about quitting her job to Ma very soon, but that could wait. Right now what was in her bag was more important: the letter addressed to her by Martha Fitzgerald herself. She couldn’t wait to read it. Would she finally learn the identity of her grandfather?

TWENTY-FOUR

Dear Ciara,

I hope this letter finds you well and happy. You don’t know me and I don’t really know you either. Except I know OF you, of course. I have followed your father’s life from afar and I learned about your birth from a notice in the local newspaper. But let me introduce myself. I am Martha Fitzgerald, your biological grandmother’s sister. I’m sure you know that your father was adopted by a very kind and caring couple, Ada and Brendan Doyle, who lived in Drogheda, where you were born. But maybe you don’t know the circumstances around your father’s birth.

My sister, Madge, was a lovely, kind girl who grew up in Cherrywood where our mother ran a bookshop. We both worked in the shop when we had finished school, and Madge did all the accounts when she had completed a course in bookkeeping. Madge was the prettiest girl in the village and caught the attention of one of the brothers of a prominent family who used to ride his horse down the paths around the village. He was handsome and clever – and married. Nevertheless, he and Madge met and fell in love and hadan affair that lasted over a year. I believe they were truly devoted to each other, and that they would have married if he had been free. His marriage was a sham, and his wife was a cold, mean woman who treated him with contempt.

Ciara’s heart contracted as she sat on her bed, reading Martha’s letter. So it was true, just as she had feared. It was a strong possibility that Jarlath O’Toole had been her biological grandfather. But why had he waited until 1945 to leave? She went back to the letter, trying to breathe slowly in order to remain calm.

Late one night, Madge woke me up and told me the worst had happened; she was pregnant. We decided not to tell our mother, who had enough on her plate with our father having just passed away and the bookshop to run. Madge said her lover had at first suggested she end the pregnancy, but we didn’t know how to go about it. I thought it both dangerous and immoral, but I did understand how desperate Madge was.

Then I had the idea to go and visit Sister Assumpta, who had been so kind to us when we went to school. She was now in a small convent near Wicklow town and I knew the nuns there were very caring and compassionate. Madge didn’t want me to tell anyone, but I went anyway. Sister Assumpta was horrified to learn of Madge’s misfortune and said after a long silence that Madge could stay at the convent until the birth and then they would arrange to have the baby adopted. This seemed to be the best arrangement and saved Madge from having to go to one of those horrible mother and baby homes where unmarried mothers were treated very badly.

To cut a long story short, Madge had the baby (a boy for whom the nuns found the Doyles) then left for England, and then on to Australia when the war ended. The man she loved stayed behind and tried to patch up his marriage, but it was impossible. He had lost a lot of money gambling while trying to get enough money together to help Madge but was caught when he broke into a house in Wicklow.

I have lived in Cherrywood all my life and have watched the village slowly decline, all the small shops having to close, their owners moving away or dying. I have written down my last wishes and signed all the papers so that you can inherit everything I own. My beloved sister Madge is gone, and I know your father passed away. I am old and sick and close to my hundredth birthday, so it seems fitting for me to pass on the baton to you, my great-niece, and hope that you will rise to the challenge and open up the bookshop again and run it like we used to. We had a children’s reading group once a week, which introduced them to the classics. I hope you will do the same and maybe even get adults to come. I wanted to give everything to you so you could continue my work, which was very close to my heart.

I wish I could have known you, but I didn’t want to intrude on your life. And now, as my life is slowly coming to an end, I will sit here and go through my own garden of remembrance. Mine is like a park, with beautiful flowers and shrubs and then some thistles and nettles and other weeds. Life has its ups and downs, but the most important thing is to remember to never give up, and that envy and self-pity are your worst enemies.

If you don’t want to open the shop again, the money I left should go to a charity that helps children. Maybe you will decide to simply live in the flat upstairs and use it for a place to enjoy spring and summer, which are lovelyin Cherrywood. I had hoped that a young person such as yourself might add a little life and youth to my village. That’s why I made you my heir.

Good luck, dear Ciara. I hope your life will be long and happy and full of love.