Page 89 of The Breakup Bookshop

I nod, my smile tight.

‘Hello?’ she calls down the phone. ‘Why aren’t you happier? And why aren’t you here? I’ve just pulled up to the bookshop, and I hate to break it to you, but everyone is here apart from you.’

‘I was out looking for… Never mind. Can you start the session without me? I’ll be there soon. It’s just… It’s been a lot to take in. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. Both, maybe.’

Eilidh lowers her voice. ‘No problem. Look, I want you around, Ava. We all do. The bookshop has become part of the village now. But you need to do what’s best for you. If you do decide to go back to London, you can always visit us in the summer, like you used to.’

I nod, even though she can’t see me, and we hang up. The breakup bookshop is starting without me, but I can’t face it just yet. I walk down to the seafront, pick up a long, flat stone, perfect for skimming, and attempt to slide it along the water’s surface. Instead, it plonks straight into the sea. I can’t help but giggle to myself.

Sometimes everything goes exactly as it should, and it still doesn’t work out the way you think it will.

As the sun sets on the horizon, I wrap my cardigan around me. It’s autumn now. The nights are fair drawing in, as Granny would have said. My time here has passed in a flash and a whole new season is approaching. I wonder what it will be like in winter. I’ve never spent time here in the colder seasons. I can picture the row of houses along the seafront dressed for Halloween, with pumpkins outside and children trick or treating around the doors – or ‘guising’ as they say here. Then the pumpkins will be replaced with Christmas trees as the festive season kicks off. Donna told me they host Christmas ceilidhs in the local hall. I can picture it all, here in the village I’ve always loved.

My thoughts turn back to the man I’ve got to know. Mackie, Rory, he’s such an important part of my life here. Not just this time, but in previous years too. And I can’t imagine letting him go. The seasons will change, but I’m certain that my feelings for him won’t. I want to enjoy it all with him, from kicking the orange leaves during cosy autumn walks to opening presents together on Christmas Day.

There is no denying it. I’m not sure where I want to be, but I know I want Rory by my side. I sigh, wondering where the hell he’s gone. I try calling him one last time, without an answer, before walking back up to The Next Chapter, where the breakup bookshop session is coming to a close. As I trudge up the street, I rehearse a cheery apology in my head. Although the group is there to offer companionship and support, I’m not ready for that right now. I have to make a decision. Go back to London alone, really on my own, and start a new journey? Or stay here and make it work?

Reaching the door of the bookshop, I peer through the glass window and frown.

Rory stands smack bang in the middle of the circle, where he’s sworn he would never be. His eyes meet mine as I walk through the front door.

‘Please don’t say anything, Ava,’ he says. ‘Let me speak.’

‘Rory, I—’

Chairs scrape along the ground as the rest of the support group mumble apologies. Eilidh grabs her jacket and nudges Richard to follow her, Donna and Pete whisper to each other while gathering their belongings. Fiona smiles at me, urging Margaret to pick up her stick and get moving.

‘Give it a go, love,’ Fiona whispers to Rory on the way past. ‘No regrets.’

We lock eyes and I nod, offering Fiona a smile.

When we find ourselves alone in the bookshop, Rory takes my hands in his. I gaze into his eyes. He is here, with me. No Seb, no Elle, no Macy, just the two of us.

‘I thought this support group thing was a load of shit,’ Rory continues, after clearing his throat, and I can’t help but smile. ‘I genuinely couldn’t understand why anyone would want to open up and talk about how they felt in front of a bunch of random people. I thought nothing could ever make me feel bad enough for that, until earlier today.’

His green eyes lock with mine. I open my mouth to speak, to try to reassure him, but he continues.

‘I drove here as soon as the cake had been cut and the dancing started. I knew I needed to speak to you and make it up to you after our fight. But you weren’t here. Seb told me that you were being offered some big job and were planning to move back down to London with him,’ Rory says. ‘I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never felt so… so low. Despondent. I was completely gutted. It felt like I was losing you all over again.’

I blink. ‘What do you mean, all over again?’

God, he is gorgeous. All I want to do is melt into a kiss with him, but I can’t. We have to talk this through. We have to figure out what we want.

‘Let me tell you my heartbreak, eh?’ He smiles sadly to himself. ‘There was a girl who used to come to the village every summer to visit her granny. I had a massive crush on her. She was my first love and she didn’t even know it. I’d wait for her every June and then I’d be gutted every September when she left. One year, when I was sixteen, I decided I was going to tell her exactly how I felt, but she never came. Not the year after, or the year after that. But this year, she came back and I fell for her more than I ever thought possible. I’m not going to make the same mistake I did all those years and keep it bottled up, not telling her how I feel and risking her leaving and getting back with a guy who doesn’t treat her the way she should be treated.’

My heart thumps in my chest and tears spring into my eyes at Rory’s heartfelt speech.

Iwas Rory’s first love. Not Elle. I was the one he fell for all those years ago, when he was known as Mackie. He’d waited for me to return and I finally had, years later. In that time, he’d transformed from a gawky teenager to someone who wouldn’t be kicked off a catwalk. But I’d always been drawn to Mackie, and now to Rory, no matter his looks. As a teenager, I’d felt the same longing for him; I’d told Macy about the guy I’d shared all those deep and meaningful conversations with. This new Rory, with the gorgeous, kind eyes and broad shoulders, is the same person.

And now here he is, standing in front of me. And finally, I’m ready.

It feels like he is looking straight into my soul as he utters the words: ‘Ava, please stay here, with me.’

Memories flash through my mind of heading away from Ullapool at the end of every summer, tears streaming down my cheeks at the thought of leaving my granny and the friends I’d made. I hated going back to the city after months of feeling so free. I hated leaving the village and all its beauty. I dreamt of packing up and moving here. Now I’m here and living the life I dreamt of, I don’t want to leave. Screw London. My heart is here. I can make this work. There is no other option, not if Rory really wants me. I can’t risk losing him again.

I nod, looking straight into his eyes. ‘Of course I will. I want this, all of this. And more than anything, I want you.’

Before I know it, Rory has scooped me off the ground and is kissing me. Truly, madly, deeply, we melt together. I never want to let him go. As I pull away, he offers me the widest smile and our foreheads touch.