Page 73 of The Breakup Bookshop

‘Rory!’ I urge him to meet my gaze.

‘I was going to,’ he says, reluctantly. ‘On that first day. Then you got all stubborn, insisted you didn’t need help and stomped away in a huff. And it was obvious you had no idea who I was, so I thought it best to leave it.’

‘You should have said! Rory, I can’t believe this.’

‘Having to remind someone who you are is pretty embarrassing. And I’ve still got that gawky teenager inside me sometimes, you know?’

I swallow, watching as he picks up the plates and carries them to the dining table.

‘In my defence, Mackie,’ I say, following him over, ‘you look pretty different now. You’ve had a bit of a glow up.’

Rory’s eyes darken as he walks across the room and sets the plates down on the long dining table that looks like it can seat fifteen people. We sit down, just the two of us, and he sighs. ‘Look, I get that I’ve changed. I barely opened my mouth for two years because I was so embarrassed by my train-track braces. I was ashamed of myself, of Mackie. I begged people to start calling me Rory because I wanted to be someone new. You didn’t like me then and you fancy me now. I get it. It’s fine.’

‘That’s not true. Ididlike you then. My friend back home even teased me about it… About you. I just wish you’d told me before now, Rory. I wish you’d said something.’

‘Yeah, well, I didn’t.’

I swallow hard and take a seat across from him.

This is why Rory has blown hot and cold with me. He’s been embarrassed that I didn’t recognize him. He’d thought of me as this big-shot city girl with all the confidence in the world, who completely overlooked him. And can I blame him? I think of how I would have felt if the scenario had been switched and it was Rory – Mackie – who didn’t recognize me. I’d be upset.

I place my hand over his at the table. ‘Look, I’m really sorry I didn’t recognize you. But I do wish you’d told me.’

I exhale, feeling my legs shake. It’s so confusing. Rory’s been keeping this a secret from me while he calculates ways to annoy me? The cutting comments, the junk mail, the hole in the wall. Why? To make me like him? He doesn’t say a word.

‘You should have said something, Rory,’ I say again. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. I know that will have been hurtful. But you’ve hidden this from me and now, for some reason, you’re the one that’s angry with me? You’re the one who’s been keeping secrets. I genuinely had no idea who you were, while you’ve known whoIam the whole time. You knew my granny, too, didn’t you?’

He pauses for a moment, before his voice cracks. ‘I’m sorry, Ava. I should have said something. I just felt so stupid.’

Suddenly I don’t feel hungry.

‘I don’t like secrets,’ I whisper, taking a sip of water from the glass on the table. ‘This could have been something lovely, Rory. I don’t have shared memories with many people. It would have been amazing to be welcomed with open arms to Ullapool, instead of thinking for weeks you didn’t like me.’

He places his hand on mine. ‘I never disliked you. Far from it. I… I’m sorry I made you feel like that.’

We eat our dinner in silence.

25

As I glance out of the car window on the way home at the dark night stretching in front of us, I feel deflated. Rory could have opened up to me, but instead he’d stomped around making a fuss about every little thing. Every interaction had been laced with tension when we’d first met. Now I know why, and it didn’t have to be like that.

As he pulls up and stops outside the bookshop, I turn around to face him. ‘The trip to my granny’s house was special. Thank you for organizing it.’

‘I’m sorry the evening didn’t continue that way. I was embarrassed that you didn’t recognize me. I felt like I was that awkward teenager all over again.’

I sigh. ‘I just can’t get my head around it.’

He nods. ‘Look, you’ll have a few days to clear your head while I’m away at the wedding. We can talk about it when I get back. Maybe we’ll feel better then.’

I frown. ‘The wedding? What do you mean?’

‘The wedding,’ he repeats, without skipping a beat. ‘Remember, I told you?’

He hasn’t told me. I’ve been on high alert for any wedding discussion since Elle dropped the bomb at the breakup bookshop. I can assure Rory that he hasn’t mentioned any wedding.

‘No, you didn’t,’ I frown. ‘Who’s looking after the shop?’

It’s not the question I want to ask, but my head is completely scrambled.