Page 80 of Plot Twist

I hung up.

Head down and heart pounding, I hurried along the street, trying not to regret being such a cow. The guilt swam around in my stomach, entering every crevice. I shook it away. I found myself subconsciously drawn back to Bellinder Cottage. All my stuff was there, after all. I had to pack up and head back to Ellie and Bridget’s. I texted Drew their address. I hated even seeing his name again on my phone, it had been absent for so long until recently.

He replied with a thumbs up.

Oh, fuck off.

I walked along the lane and up to the cottage. My car was still parked in the driveway, as though I belonged there, even though we all knew that wasn’t true.

I went to push the door open but instead rang the doorbell.

Ivy opened the door.

‘Becca!’ Her little face lit up when she saw me.

‘Ivy, what did I tell you?’ a voice called from behind. It was Jackie. ‘You don’t just open the door to strangers.’

‘It’s not a stranger, Mammy. It’s Becca.’

Stranger danger. I taught the kids about it in my class at school, how they should never go away with a stranger, even if someone claimed to know you or offered you sweets or a puppy or something amazing. I wanted to protest that I wasn’t a stranger, ask Jackie to quiz me on the intricate details of Riley and Ivy’s existence, but instead I felt my throat tighten as I leaned down to give Ivy a cuddle.

‘Hi, Ivy,’ I said. Ivy jumped into my arms, her hair spraying all over my face, smelling of the strawberry shampoo I’d picked up for her at the shops just the other day. How quickly things had changed.

‘What can we do for you, Becca?’ Jackie said, folding her arms.

She was like a guard dog, unwilling to open the door any further than absolutely necessary.

‘I’m just back to get my things and then I’ll head over to Bridget and Ellie’s,’ I said. ‘They’re preparing for their new arrivals.’

‘Yes, we heard.’ Jackie smiled down at Ivy. ‘Isn’t it wonderful? Damien and Lily.’

‘Lucy,’ I corrected her.

‘I’m going to be a big cousin.’ Ivy bounced up and down. ‘Does Lucy have bunches?’

‘She won’t have much hair yet, darling. She’s only one.’ Jackie ruffled Ivy’s hair affectionately.

I hadn’t noticed before how similar they were. As Ivy gazed up at her mum, I realised her pretty little face was a carbon copy of her mum’s. But Ivy was so innocent and sweet, while Jackie growled at me like a bulldog.

I was her Leila. With big bags under my eyes, instead of Leila’s big boobs.

‘I packed up your stuff already,’ Jackie said. ‘It’s sitting in your bag outside the room. I’ll fetch it for you now.’

‘Thank you, that was kind.’ I fake-smiled as Jackie disappeared from the front door.

‘Daddy’s away to meet his secret agent,’ Ivy said. ‘Is he a spy?’

I smiled. Riley hadn’t mentioned a meeting but speaking with his agent was a good sign. He’d said he’d only call his agent if he had made enough progress on his work.

‘Oh, that’s good. I don’t think he’s a spy though. Although, I wouldn’t really know because spies are good at keeping secrets, aren’t they?’

‘Like you,’ Ivy whispered. ‘You kept my secret about Mammy coming back. Daddy said he’s glad she’s back now too. We really are going to be a family again!’

As selfish as it was, Ivy’s words made me feel ill.

Riley was glad Jackie was back. Ivy had confirmed it. And they were going to work things out. It was exactly what I thought would happen, and maybe it’s what should happen. They were a family, after all. But it stung more deeply than I ever thought it would. I reminded myself to mask my feelings in front of Ivy. I produced a wobbly smile to the little girl who deserved the whole world.

‘I’m so happy for you, Ivy. I’m glad it’s all working out.’