Page 34 of Plot Twist

‘My best friend in the whole world,’ I said. ‘Her name was Rae.’

‘Did she leave too? Like my mum?’

‘She did,’ I said.

‘Will she come back?’

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Why had I brought Rae into this? I didn’t know what Riley had told Ivy about her mum, life, death and everything in between. It was dangerous territory. I should have known better.

I looked into her eyes.

‘No, she won’t,’ I said. ‘But she’s always with me because I always think about her. So I carry her with me in my heart.’

Ivy frowned, confused with the answer. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and whispered, ‘Can I tell you a secret?’

It was a real whisper. Not like the shouting whispers in the morning as she tried to wake me up while pretending not to try and wake me up.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Of course you can.’

‘You can’t tell anyone. Not even Daddy. Cross your heart and hope to die?’

‘Cross my heart,’ I said, without hesitation, shaking her hand to seal the deal.

Ivy leaned towards me and, as we were just about forehead to forehead, whispered, ‘Mammy’s coming back for me. She promised. We’ll all be a family again. So maybe shewillbe back for the party and see me cut the ribbon.’

‘Oh,’ I said.

I wasn’t sure what else to say. I had to tiptoe very carefully around all my words and phrases with Ivy. It was a minefield. One wrong move and I’d blow everything up.

‘Yup.’ Ivy smiled confidently. ‘Mammy said so.’

‘When did she tell you this?’ I asked, hoping it was a safe enough question.

She smiled sweetly at me. ‘When I saw her yesterday.’

And with that, she skipped off to get ready by her ‘own self in my room, because I’m a big girl now.’

15

I thought about Ivy’s confession when Riley was reading her a story at bedtime that evening. I’d kept my promise and hadn’t said anything to Riley. The more I thought about it, I realised it wasn’t possible that Ivy had seen her mum. She’d been at nursery the day before, while Riley and I tried to concentrate on writing. I collected her from nursery while Riley got dinner ready. We watched a TV show together in the evening, while Ivy was in bed.

It couldn’t have been a more ordinary day in the life of Riley and Ivy. Obviously, I was only gatecrashing for a while, but I knew there had been no mention of Jackie. Or much else, for that matter. I didn’t ask questions and very little information was offered. I didn’t want to come across like the obsessive house guest who kept tabs on everything. It was bad enough that I was living under his roof, contributing very little while trying to inspire him with his writing. I wondered if I was a bit of a bad influence on Riley. We kept going off on tangents about absolutely nothing in particular, to the point where I was almost late collecting Ivy from nursery.

He didn’t ask me to talk about my problems and I didn’t ask him about Jackie. It was our unspoken agreement. We were both protecting our own small pieces of heartbreak.

As the full day flashed through my mind, I realised there was no way Ivy could have seen Jackie.

The poor soul obviously missed her mum so much she was fantasising about the family coming back together. There was no harm in it, I guessed. It wasn’t like Ivy was hurting anyone. She clearly knew not to mention it to her dad in case it upset him.

I decided to put it out of my mind as my phone began vibrating insistently in my pocket. I moved quickly across to the door leading to the garden, to answer without disturbing Ivy’s storytime.

‘Joanna,’ I said. ‘How are you getting on?’

‘Your class are all angels,’ Joanna said. ‘But Mrs Pender is the actual devil. She’s throwing her weight around, demanding all these extra lesson plans. The term’s practically finished so I don’t know what she’s playing at!’

Reality coming back to bite again. This was why I usually avoided answering the phone. I’d been trying not to think about work since I’d arrived in Rathcliffe. I wanted to immerse myself in mountain air, writing books and applying facemasks with Ivy in the evening, while Riley gave her the bedtime countdown. Nice things.

I felt a wave of guilt every time I thought about the voicemails stacking up from Rae’s mum, which I hadn’t got around to answering at all. Not even a quick ‘oh shite, the mountains are so large I can’t hear you’ text seemed to appease Linda.