Page 65 of Washed Up

‘What?’

‘It’s that bloody knobhead, isn’t it?’ said Jake, and Frankie could have sworn he moved a half inch away from her.

‘Which particular knobhead are we talking about now?’ she said as casually as she could manage.

‘You know exactly who I mean. He came to Herm for one measly day, and he’s got you all discombobulated.’

‘Great word.’

‘Thanks.’

‘He hasn’t, though. It’s over, anyway. This isn’t about him.’

Jake looked down at her, his green eyes hooded. ‘It’s over?’

Frankie shrugged. ‘His last message… it was dismissive, I’d guess you’d say. That’s the last we’ve heard from Dylan Wright.’

Jake frowned. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, you’re not.’

‘No, you’re right, I’m not. But listen, Frankie, you can do so much better.’

‘With you, I suppose?’

He shook his head. ‘No, not with me. Definitely not with me. I mean, you can do so much better generally. In life. You could leave, if you wanted to. You could have anyone you want. Go anywhere you want. You just…’

‘What?’

Jake hesitated, his jaw clenching and unclenching in the darkness. He swallowed, as if about to deliver terrible news. Frankie held her breath.

‘I hope you don’t hate me for saying this. But you need to stop living for other people, stop worrying about what they’re all doing, what they would do without you, what they need. You need to start living for yourself. Maybe start working out what you want. And learn how to make it happen.’

His words were like a bolt of lightning, right into her heart.

He cleared his throat. ‘Sorry, but it needed to be said.’

Frankie stared across the dark water in front of them. Looking but not seeing. Thinking over his words. Not sure whether to be mad or grateful. Was her jealousy of Bobby simply because she needed to get a life of her own? What would that even look like?

‘Please say something,’ he said after a moment or two more. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for,’ she said, her voice scratching her throat. ‘You’re right. Of course you’re right.’

He shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think I am. That was too harsh. I don’t know why I said it. You’re fantastic, Frankie. You’re an amazing person precisely because you’re so selfless. It’s part of you. It’s a wonderful part of you.’

‘Jake, stop. You don’t need to be sorry, you’re completely right.’

‘I am?’

‘You are. It’s not selfless. It’s spineless. I’ve got no spine. That’s the truth.’

‘No that’s not what I meant. You’re not spineless.’

‘I am. I’m totally spineless. It’s just…’

‘Just what?’ His hand was on hers now.

She looked at him, really looked. His green eyes were gentle as they searched hers. ‘I’ve had to be this way. Since Bobby left, that’s been my role. Looking after everyone. Being the good daughter. The good islander. The truth is, I don’t know how to be anything else,’ she said.