Page 51 of Washed Up

Jake pulled at his hair again. ‘Yeah. Course I do. Wanting something – someone – you can’t have. It’s torture.’ His green eyes held hers for a second before he dropped his gaze, cheeks flushing. Silence spread between them like fog, thickening and filling the tiny space.

‘Jake, I… I had no idea. Who’s the lucky girl?’ Frankie regretted those words as soon as they left her lips. In that split second, she knew the answer. Or perhaps she’d always known. Dylan had bloody known. Damn him.

Jake glanced towards the bar, as if checking for witnesses. When he finally spoke his voice was soft, low, rumbling into her ear, making her shiver. ‘It’s you, Frankie. How can you not know that? It’s always been you.’ His green eyes were so clear and tinged with gold. How had she never noticed before?

Say something, Frankie.

‘Is this a wind-up?’ she said, patting his hands where they were clenched on the table, trying not to notice how strong and tanned they were.

‘I might have known you’d make a joke,’ said Jake in a pained voice.

‘Sorry. It’s just… that’s what we do, you know?’

‘I know.’

‘Sorry.’

‘There’s nothing you can do about it,’ said Jake with a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. Frankie’s heart thudded.

‘That’s not… no, I only meant, I was sorry for making light of it.’

‘You really had no idea?’ Jake’s eyebrows lifted.

‘No. I… Well, maybe. A little. The other day, the way you looked at me, when you got all weird about Dylan… I wondered then. Why didn’t you tell me before?’

Jake rubbed at his face with those huge hands. ‘I don’t know. There was never a good time.’

‘Oh no, right, it’s not like we’re in the pub every Friday night.’

‘Not helping.’

‘Sorry.’

Jake sighed and gave her another long look. ‘I was going to, I guess. Then he turned up and suddenly I knew.’ He practically spat the word ‘he’.

‘Knew what?’ said Frankie, gently.

‘I knew there was no chance. There was never going to be any chance. I decided that day I wasn’t ever going to tell you. I was just going to wait for it to pass, you know. These things always do.’

Something clenched in Frankie’s chest at his words. She studied his face, the square jaw, the barely there stubble. He actually smelled quite pleasant today, too. He was no Dylan, that much was true. But he was sweet, and kind, and… had a crush on her, apparently. At least until he found something better. It was a nice feeling, and she wished desperately she could return it.

‘And now?’ she said, softly.

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I didn’t plan to say anything ever. Seeing you there, tonight, all sad, it just came out. I’m not…’ He waved his hands. ‘I don’t expect anything, just so you know. I was… I don’t know what I was trying to do really, other than let you know I can identify with your misery.’

‘It loves company.’ Frankie smiled, though her heart was pounding.

‘Exactly. And now you know how I’ve felt for the last five years.’

Frankie’s eyes widened. ‘Five years? You’ve had a crush on me for five years?’

‘Say it a bit louder, if you would, for the people in the back.’

Frankie put a finger to her own lips, her face turning red. ‘Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.’

Jake’s mouth twisted into a smile. ‘It’s not like this day could get any more humiliating.’

‘You’ve had a crush on me for five years?’ she whispered, giving his shoulder a little nudge.