Page 10 of 10 Things I Skate About You

“I know. Poor thing doesn’t even realize it’s possible for a man to give her an orgasm.”

“It’s not. Stop messing with my head.”

They exchange looks. They always exchange looks when I tell them I know that the whole orgasms-during-sex-with-another-person thing is a myth perpetuated by non-feminists so women don’t realize they’re supposed to please themselves.

That’stheircomedy bit.

I get it.

6

ADAM

The Deadwoods are assholes.

It is no coincidence that two thirds of the Pogue siblings play for the biggest asshole team in beer league.

It is also not a coincidence that this is the only time in history the Deadwoods beat us since I started playing for the Icebreakers.

Because I’m taking their sister out on a date tomorrow and I let it get in my head.

I picked fights with every guy on the ice whoisn’tdirectly related to The Red Plague because I couldn’t pick fights with her brothers the day before I take out their sister. That’s a line even I won’t cross, and they knew it. But my aggression had to go somewhere, so it went everywhere else. I even got a ten-minute misconduct. I won’t repeat what I said, even though I was 1,000 percent correct in saying it. But I was in the sin bin for so long I was thinking about ordering a pizza.

Meanwhile, Rhys and Lance were acting completely normal. Smiling and nodding at me. Totally fucking with my head. And it worked.

I lost every face-off in the third period. I missed an open net. Their goalie was literally scratching his balls five feet away from the net. My shot went wide. Corey made a sound like he was watching a horror movie. And then there was silence. Endless silence. Because everyone was so embarrassed for me.

Me. Currently the only former NHL player on the team. Fuck my life.

And fuck this silence in the locker room too.

Now they’re just doing this to piss me off.

You know what’s worse than silence on the ice during a game?

Silence in the shower after a game.

It’s not until I’m putting my socks on that Corey finally says, “Hey, man, you aren’t nervous about your date with Kate Pogue, are you?”

“Shut it, Corey.” I snap at him out of habit, but I am so fucking glad he said something. “I don’t get nervous.”

“Good,” Rhys says, wandering over while applying deodorant to his unbelievably hairy armpits. It looks like he’s got tiny red Pomeranian puppies up in there. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“Except that the whole town will be watching you guys tomorrow night.”

“Shut it, Corey!” Lance and I say at the same time.

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Lance says to me. “But thanks for giving us that game. You did owe us for making the date with Kate happen. Now all you gotta do is not fuck it up.”

“First of all, I owe no one a game. That’s not how I play hockey.”

“We know,” Rhys says. “Literally everyone knows.”

“Secondly, I don’t fuck up dates. That’s not how I play women.”

“Dammit, I wish I was recording that,” Rhys says. “I would have loved to play it for Kate on the pod.”

“All right, I’m done talking to you guys about your sister.”