Page 17 of Net and Chill

CRAIG: It was. I had a great time, thanks. Say goodbye to your parents for me.

BRIDGET: I’m sure my dad will say goodbye to you himself, since you’re texting buddies now.

CRAIG: Okay. Don’t be a stranger.

Bridget loved “Okay. Don’t be a stranger.”

TOMMY: C-Dawg!

TOMMY: Nope. How do I unsend that? That one didn’t stick.

TOMMY: Biddy said you’re heading out. I would have taken you to the airport.

CRAIG: I didn’t want to bother anyone, but thanks, man.

TOMMY: It would have been my honor and a pleasure, bruh.

TOMMY: See you next summer?

CRAIG: Absolutely.

Tommy loved “Absolutely.”

Last Fall

PENNY: Okay, I am obviously very hormonal right now, but I just heard something that did not make me happy.

BRIDGET: Did they finally explain what giving birth is going to feel like?

PENNY: Well, you’re my support team since my husband is a wimp, so that’s as much of a you issue as it’s a me issue. But this is as much of a me issue as it’s a you issue. And I can’t call you because I’m at work.

BRIDGET: Oh God. What?

PENNY: Kim was here visiting someone again. She said Dave told her he met a guy who came into the hardware store who knows someone on the Griffins. Didn’t say who. That person said he was talking to this Griffins player about superstitions and he said Craig Bowman’s been having sex with the same woman for four years because he’s been playing so well ever since they started hooking up.

BRIDGET: I mean. That better be me he was talking about.

PENNY: Of course it was you! My point is that you deserveso much more than being some goalie’s good luck charm, Bridget.

BRIDGET: I know what I deserve.

PENNY: Then why do you put up with this no-strings thing with Craig? It would be one thing if you had someone else in the mix, but you have been, for all intents and purposes, exclusive with Craig for the past four years. Without any of the benefits of being in a committed relationship. And I know that’s what you want.

BRIDGET: I haven’t had to deal with any of the crap of being in a committed relationship either. I like how casual this thing has been. It’s enough.

PENNY: Honey. You are the most intense, least casual person I know. You’re funny, yes. But you are not chill. You pay attention to every detail. You care. You know who else is intense and pays attention to every detail? Goalies.

BRIDGET: Are you saying we’re perfect for each other?

PENNY: I’m saying you’re lying to each other. You’ve been in a holding pattern for four years and the pattern isn’t going to change unless you end the situationship or level it up. As much as I would hate for you to leave Kenton, I don’t know how else you could do that.

BRIDGET: I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing if Craig thinks of me as his good luck charm.

PENNY: Sure. But you know what would be a better thing?If he would fucking man up and admit that he’s in love with you and wants to be in a real committed fucking grown-up relationship with you.

BRIDGET: I can’t tell which way you’re leaning…

PENNY: I love you. And I’m not afraid to tell you or anyone else that. I think this baby I’m about to have deserves an auntie who won’t settle for anything less than a man who will show up for you in the way you really want a man to show up for you. I don’t know if Craig’s a man who can do that, that’s up to the two of you to decide. But I think you need to finally ask for strings. Or let him go.