Page 94 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition

I’ve been the guy whose wife fell in love with someone else.

And part of me knew that if I gave my heart to Willa in the way that she deserves, I’d have to be willing to let her go if she still felt she needed to protect her own heart.

But for fuck’s sake… Missing Willa, wondering how she feels right now, and seeing how much my kids miss her—there’s an emptiness that no thirty-second montage that’s underscored by a contemporary sad love song could ever convey.

And I don’t want my kids to see me sad or worried or empty, even though I may not be as good of an actor as I thought I was.

Every day for more than five years, I’ve been living with the knowledge that I would do anything for my kids, even though I almost never feel like I’ve said the exact right thing or done enough. That’s just being a parent. But ever since I left Willa at the bottom of the stairs on Monday night, I have been thinking about the one thing I could have said that might have changed everything.

I tried calling Nico while I was driving home for dinner earlier, but I got his voice mail. A little while ago he sent a text, asking if I’d be home tonight. When I told him I would be, I didn’t hear back from him. I justwant to get an idea of how things went for Willa today, but now it’s bedtime.

This is the third night in a row I’ve let the kids sleep with me—even though Margarita thinks I’m spoiling them. To be honest, after the press junket today, it feels good to be flanked by two people whoaren’tgoing to ask me what it was like performing in front of a green screen or if I think Melissa McCarthy and I would make good detectives in real life too. When I come to the end ofMiss Nelson is Missing, the three of us are silent for an awkward five seconds, as we’re all probably wishing that Margarita is just Willa in disguise, trying to teach us a lesson.

“Papa?”

“Yes, my child?”

“Can I be a matchmaker like Yente when I grow up?”

“Sure. If that’s what you want to be.”

“Can I be one now?”

“Not according to child labor laws. But you can pretend to be one, sure. You gotta go to sleep now, though.”

She sits up, claps and then rubs her hands together. “But Papa. Oh, Papa! Have I got a match for you! She’s pretty! She’s young! Actually, I don’t know how old she is. But she’s a nice girl! A good catch! Right? Right.”

I don’t know if it’s possible for me to love my daughter more than I do right now, but part of me is a little terrified that she wants to set me up with Abby’s mom.

Lucky sighs dramatically. “Do you think we waited long enough?”

“For what, buddy?”

“You said. Sometimes girls get weird and we have to wait. For them to be not weird again. Do you think we waited long enough for Willa?”

I turn to Summer. “Please tell me that’s who you’re talking about.”

“Duhhh! Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Nobody! Because Willa is in New York!”

“Wow, that’s kind of dark, honey. Are you saying you want Willa and me to be together?”

“Duhhh! Oy vey, dummy!” She smacks her forehead with one hand. “You’re so sad and grumpy when she’s not around. You’resarumpy. Such a man is this!”

“Diddle daidle deedle deedle daidle deedle deedle dum!”

And now both of my offspring are flat on their backs in a fit of giggles that’s shaking the mattress and forming words that make absolutely no sense to me. There’s a good chance none of us are going to get any sleep tonight, but at least we aren’t sarumpy anymore.

I guess now’s as good a time as any to have The Talk. “You know what that would mean, though? If Willa and I are a match? Like a couple? If she lives here, she’d be sleeping here with me at night. In this room. In this bed.”

“What if we want to sleep with you too? Can you get a bigger bed?”

“We’ll figure something out. But there will be times when Willa and I will be in here and the door will be closed. That means we need to be alone together for a while.”

Summer rolls her eyes. “Like when mommy and Landon close their door?”